Week Reflection (week 23) & Painting with a Purpose Update

we are hard at work!

I know, I know ... it is the end of the week and you are asking "Where is the Weekly Reflection?" In all the excitement of Painting with a Purpose, I decided to save my reflection for the end of the week. But first, a little update on our project!

Cowgirl and I are busy at work planning and perfecting our collaborative process. We did a few practice pieces (one of which is further down in this post)




And dear Mr. Dick Blick sent me a coupon for a discount off of my entire purchase, so we gathered up some new supplies including 8 by 10 inch canvas boards for the give away paintings/prizes. I do have a question: I was thinking it would be nice to add a small wire hanger accented with beads to match each piece. Something along the lines of this:





What do you think? Too much? Nice touch? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.

I want to thank everyone who has left such inspiring comments regarding Painting with a Purpose. And some people have already donated! That is fantastic and we are super energized to make each painting as vibrant, inspiring, and joy-filled as we possibly can. If I didn't get back to you (some people do not have blogs listed) please know that each and every comment lifts our spirits and carries us forward. Thank you! Also, please know you can donate by check/mail if online isn't your thing. There is a link on the pledge page to download a form to mail in with your donation.

Keep posted for more sneak previews!

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This week I found myself wondering:

Who am I?

I just ordered my business cards from Moo.com and I'm very excited. I also find it a bit humorous as I have yet to create a business for which to hand out said cards. But new cards has been on my "to do" list since January when I was down to my final hand full of yoga biz cards.

My biggest dilemma and the reason I've put off ordering cards for so long is I had no idea what to put on them. My previous card simply read "Kripalu certified Yoga Instructor." But teaching yoga is just one of the many things I want to do in the coming months and years. I recently discovered via a fellow Flying Lessons classmate that I am what she calls a "Scanner." She gives beautiful description of a scanner: someone who likes to experience and try new things, moving fluidly between worlds, extremely curious (sounds like a typical Vata to me!) Um, yes, all true ... but I like to think I am more than just skimming the surface of things which is how scanner sounds to me. (This is not to knock what is a wonderfully helpful post with ideas on how to structure a scanner's list of interests/identities. Do check it out!)

Years ago I was in a weekend yoga workshop when the facilitator asked us all to write on a piece of paper the answer to this question: Who am I? I wrote my response and sat back, a bit baffled to see everyone bent over their papers still writing away. What were they writing on and on about? Seriously, I was confused. And then came the time for people to volunteer to read out loud what they had written down: mother, teacher, social worker, data specialist, wife, yoga teacher ... the lists went on and on. I looked down at my paper, a bit shocked to read what I wrote: I am whoever I choose to be.

Of course the rest of the time was spent making collages around all those personae people had written down. I slinked off for a coffee as I felt like I had no connection to this exercise. I did feel a little superior, like I had seen the trick in the question; all those years in graduate school taught me something about the construction of identity, self and gender!

another collaborative piece with Cowgirl

But now I am back to thinking about that paper and what my response really means to me. In all honesty, I still struggle with disengaging notions of worth from work and concepts about self generated by authentic questioning versus those imposed by outside forces. Deep down inside, there is still a little bit of that little girl who needs an daddy figure to tell her she did a good job and validate her worth.

There is a delicious moment when I am in deep relaxation practice and I go into this zone where everything slips away. The heaviness of me - my expectations, contradictions, anxieties and ambitions - is gone and I am just there: simply being, simply presence. It is like waking up from a long, deep dream; and for a brief moment as I come out of it, I have no earthly idea of who I am. And I love it.

I used to know a woman in town who kept changing her first name. It drove me crazy that as soon as I was used to one name, she would select another based upon the new path she was embracing in that moment. I was always thinking about her by her former incarnation. And it is true: what pushes your buttons touches upon a truth deeply buried or denied. Yes, I have to confess, I have 3 names I can lay claim to: my given name, a Buddhist name (although, I do not feel I have followed that path very well), and a Sanskrit/yoga name which is how I am listed on the schedule for the yoga center where I teach. Oops, add a fourth - my online name Lis to distinguish me from all the other Lisas out there. (I was still surprised to learn that Lisa was the most popular name for a girl in the 1960s.)

But I am also aware of a strain from being so "all over the place" as I wrote out my list of scanner personalities and realized all my various names. I want to be open, fluid, changeable but I also want some sense of an internal compass, a direction for all my energy. Thanks to my new list, I realized I was ready to make up a business card, to put it - or rather ME - out there.

My cards are on order. I used some of my favorite photographic images from the past year for one side. On the information side it will read:

Lisa Hofmann
artist • writer • creative explorer

I like the idea of being a Creative explorer. Right now, I am not claiming any one area as my own but venturing out into new territories, open to new adventures, new roles. I know whatever I become it will be my unique blend of my interests and skills. I'm in no hurry to plant my flag in one spot. I am on a expedition of understanding and connection. My card will be my way of leaving a trail with those I meet on the path.





So, I ask you: Who are you?

(I am thrilled to pass on these links to Milena's thoughtful responses to a couple of recent Weekly Reflections. Thank you for playing with me!

(another message i was receiving loud and clear this week: when things get chaotic, that is when i need to dive deeper within, return to my practice and seek stillness in whatever form i can find it in!)