week in review: random sogginess & some art

In no particular order, here is our week ... soggy and sunshiny, heavy and light, dull and colorful.

Dreaming –

narrow strip of beach

the water before me

choked by leaves and vines

wearying

the thought of swimming through that muck

to reach clear waters.

Awake –

heaviness of the weather

a cloak that impedes movement

threat of coming storm

wafts about me

creeping sensation of worry.

Feeling –

emptied on all levels

everyone’s pain

emotional waves knocking me over

repeatedly

I no longer want to get up.

Just lie here.

Let me be carried out to sea.

This day I carry

the world’s struggles

one more stone in my pocket

acutely aware

my defenses are weak.

Where is my bravado?

“Choose Joy”

my voice whimpers

Joy?

I cannot remember the tune.

I want to bury this

sour sensation

under the flowering crab tree

in the back yard

piling moist dirt

upon it

soaking up

the bitterness

and the fear.

Then climbing into your bed

slipping my body

against yours

dirty fingers

seeking the goodness of your warmth

I curl in upon us

vital organs guarded

and I surrender

as roots pull me under

I let myself drop -

In doing so, I sink down into dark waters

where I cannot see

but can sense

space opening up before me

Swim

Move

Act

Don’t think or feel

On this raft of two

I find my bravery

I know we will steer

towards the horizon

where we will see

the fin of Joy

breaking through the surface

of the waves.

To me the meanest flower that blows can give

Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears.

(William Wordsworth)