Wednesday, June 29, 2011

blue mood (52 photos)

final sunset in tuscany

It is rather poetic that this week's 52 Photos Project theme is The Blue Hour. While this refers to the color of the sky just before sunrise or after sunset, it also captures my mood as I find myself settling back in after two consecutive vacation trips away from home. Not that I am feeling blue; but I am caught in that in between state of integration. There is the me on auto-pilot before taking a break and there is the me I reconnected to while absent from the usual demands and distractions of my daily life. Vacation and travel always effects me this way. It allows me perspective to evaluate what I value in my life and also determine what is absent or lacking.

I am by nature a bit of a hermit. I am pretty self sufficient and can go days with very little interaction with others. Yet I also crave connection and community. Balancing the two has always been an issue for me which is why on the surface online communities seemed like a perfect solution.

Then I spent a week in Italy totally unplugged and I was aware of how much time and energy I devote to staying in the loop. I came home conflicted as to how I could maintain relationships built upon regular communication but also manage some level of depth and integrity to those connections. I have found myself in the past commenting on other blogs and forums for the sake of expressing my interest to be a part of things but not necessarily because I have all that much to add to the discussion.

I had a brief spell at home before heading out to heritage camp with Cowgirl and I left feeling like I was hopelessly running behind the train that is online social media. It's a strange feeling to consider oneself behind in one's life. Or rather behind in my creative life.

But it was also liberating to just create in my journal without a sense of what anyone else is doing. I have to remind myself that much of what I do is in the spirit of exploration and discovery; I am trying on various forms of creative expression and I am searching for that perfect form that fulfills my needs. In fact, I doubt there is one medium that will satisfy me and it is becoming apparent my challenge is to know when it is time to switch things around. Photography, writing, painting - each form offers me a different lens for examining my life. Each speaks to a different mood. And then there is the question of finding my style (or my voice) which is beautifully addressed in this post I fortuitously stumbled across today.

So yeah, I am in a funky state but one which is not without its unique beauty. I admit I feared I would be forgotten in my absence and then I came home to find so many friends leaving me comments and along with new voices hopping over from other blogs. While wondering about this whole virtual thing - is this real? - I am discovering the connections, the support and the abundance of this world is very real. Sitting on my counter, the bounty of mail love affirms these relationships nurture me and others in very deep ways.

Each friend represents in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
(Anais Nin)

I am not a different person because of blogging; rather this space and the community fostered through questioning, sharing, supporting each other have allowed a fuller version of me to manifest. A very real me.

There. I think I've removed the last bit of lint from my navel ... at least what was gathered from my travels. Back to our regularly scheduled whinging.


  1. Your online presence and voice is beloved by so many of us!! And I must say that it only enhances what I know of you in the "real" world!I find that there is a fine line for me when it comes to online time.Too much & I end up feeling foggy & ironically more isolated.Yet I do find a certain amount inspiring & informative to my creative path.Here's to balance, I guess :)
    Thank you,beautiful woman!

  2. I'm new to 52PP and this is my very first visit to your blog. Your words resonated with me in a deep way. I'm a fairly new blogger (8 months) and I have felt the tug and pull. I started blogging to face the fear or writing and have overcome that and also gained so much more along the way.

  3. Your photos and words are lovely. Hope you can find the right balance.

  4. Lis, beautiful photo and sentiments. I feel exactly what you saying about traveling and blogging. I find myself liking the ways of the hermit and have to push myself out. It is all about the balance and it can, like you said, take on many forms. - mandy

  5. "I am not a different person because of blogging; rather this space and the community fostered through questioning, sharing, supporting each other have allowed a fuller version of me to manifest. A very real me. "

    i love this, i really do. beautifully said. and yes, as others have said, it is a balance, isn't it?

  6. Such a lovely photo! - I've met many of my dearest friends through blogging & taking part in online community projects. I have to say that in the beginning, there were times I thought about who would even take notice of me - or - would other bloggers even remember me?
    But I think that we are all craving a connection of some sort - and those who feel it with us, stick around. Thank you for sharing so honestly.

  7. of course you know that i'm absolutely hearing you on this....

    it's a very delicate balance, i think -- and one that i'm only just mastering. when i asked myself 'could i give it all up' -- i answered that yes, i could...but i don't *want* to. i think it was important for me to recognize the subtle difference there.

    so true what you say about vacations and 'time away'.....they really are an opportunity to take stock...

    i'm so glad you're are such a powerful light in my life.


  8. Your post spoke to my heart today . . . thank you for sharing so honestly. You inspire me every time I come for a visit!

  9. I think that question is common for all of us. I know that when I first set out blogging, I tried to "fit in" and got way too caught up in the commenting, following and the whole madness that blogging can be. It was only after I looked up and saw my kids sitting around because that was what they saw me doing, that I turned tail and ran back into myself, my real writing self. Now I blog because I have thoughts that truly need to come out and I feel good about putting those down on "paper", so to speak. I feel more genuine and clean now.

    I really like that Anais Nin quote. So true on so many levels.

  10. Keep writing your way to authenticity. . .

  11. I saw the Anais Nin quote after I looked at your beautiful picture. This is my all time favorite quote. It so represents for me my deep need for open and meaningful connection to others. Your words touch my heart very closely, I can relate.

  12. Oh my goodness Lis, your online presence means the world to me and you are very 'real' to me, even though we have not yet met in person. You inspire me with every post and I love how you reach out to the world. And I totally get the hermit thing:)

  13. Hello Lis! Beautiful post! I so relate to feeling behind in one's life as far as social media is concerned! I've had to let lots go right now and have a lot of fear about how I will pick it up again! It feels like so long since I have been a regular . . . We shall see how it unfolds! :)

    But, of the few blogs I've been visiting, this one is always first on my list, because I get so much out of what you write, and it seems to come straight from your heart.

    lots of love to you!