eine Pause

I love foreign phrases ... to take a break in German is machen Sie eine Pause and that is what I am attempting to cultivate within my day: pauses.  

(I also this idiom- du hast eine vogel in dem köpft - you have a bird in your head - meaning you have so much room in that empty skull of yours, birds could be flying around ... in other words, you are nuts!)

Every morning I fight the undertow that is my day by stepping outside and sitting.

Just sitting.  I pull up a patio chair, turning my back upon the house, the dirty dishes in the sink, the laundry waiting to be hung up, the glow of the laptop awaiting new words, new images, more content and I sit down and stop all movement.

I take a pause.

This is my practice for the 6-weeks that is my Gift of Practice program.  I have other practices I more or less regularly "do" but the call to do nothing has been growing insistently louder and more compelling as I continue to adjust to this self-employed life.

It is a willful practice right now.  I have to snap my own whip.  Today I could feel the mounting pressure to get to it - dive into the mound of work I need to tackle before the week's end.  Up until the very moment I slide open the screen door, I wasn't sure I would make it.  I mean, we are talking about 5 minutes.  Easy (in theory) to do, but also easy to dismiss.

Cowgirl had an epic birthday week ... 

 

family dinner, special delivery lunch (via moi of course), a girl's day with one grandmother and a special playdate with some classmates.  

Naturally, at the end of this all ... she is home sick.  (Just a fever ... but home for two days now ... tomorrow is uncertain ...) So in addition to being mommy nurse-maid and trying to play catch up from last week, I am sitting here up to my eyeballs in projects awaiting my attention.

Yes, well ... they are on pause.

I broke out of my morning trance (shuttling between dishwasher, washing machine, sick bed, dog bed) to sit outside and watch the madness swirl around me.  Funny thing, once I sat for a minute or two (listening the the clatter of the nearby builders and the calls of the golfers) the insistent tempo that had characterized my morning slowly faded away.  Liz Lamoreux counsels to practice taking 5 deep breaths throughout your day and I love that idea.  I would add: if you can, gift yourself 5 full minutes of sitting, breathing, not doing, but being.  Being antsy, being still, being bored, being at peace, being full of ideas, being emptied of ideas ...

Pause ... notice ... then proceed with your day.

Me, I feel as if my feathers were fluffed and I have been able to soar through the mountain o'tasks with an easy grace, renewed enthusiasm and a spacious mind. Remembering my word for this year: possibilities.  Remembering each day I can create space for new possibilities to emerge.  

Just give me five minutes ...