Life IS Good

I was thrilled to receive this award from Faerwillow at Serendipity who has one of the most lovely, poetic blogs I regularly read. And then I was honored by Athena at Experiments in Authenticity with the same award! Athena has inspired me to return to an ayurvedic diet and lifestyle as my energy levels are all over the place these days. Ayurveda is the sister science to yoga and so much of what we do intuitively is outlined in this holistic system to health and well-being. Here is Athena's piece that got me back on the bandwagon!

(For the record: I am not concerned about weight right now, but hey! Sexy in 4 weeks? I'll give it a go! I have had the good fortune to work with an ayurvedic physician who travels here from India twice a year. Yeah, wild. So I have a good idea of what I need to be doing; I just need to do it. I am pretty balanced between Vata and Pitta which makes for an interesting combination. Vatas are all about ideas, wandering around exploring what catches their eye while Pittas are the task masters who focus upon getting the job done yesterday. My routine driven Pitta and my spontaneity loving Vata are often in a deadlock!)

So an interesting side story to this award (there! Can you see my Vata mind at work?!): Friday was an absolutely top ten kind of day. Cowgirl and I spent the day outside planting flowers and her corn, zinnia, and sunflower seedlings into larger terra cotta pots. There was time for art, time for frisbee and then dinner outside on the patio. As I sipped my gin and tonic, I remarked: "it is like the t-shirt says - Life is Good." Sunshine and smiles all around.

photo taken by Cowgirl in the minutes before The Event (I look pretty relaxed considering a 5 1/2 year old is holding $800 worth of camera gear in her sticky hands)

About ten minutes later the husband was rolling in the retractable awning (The Awning that had been repaired the summer before after it shot out from the house like a cannonball) when there was a loud "PING" sound and the awning once again broke loose from it's framework and hurled it self directly at me. I hopped out of the way and thankfully only received a nasty bruise on my upper arm and a bop on the top of my head. But images of the Witched Witch underneath Dorothy's Kansas farmhouse were not far from my mind.

okay, so i am now seeing how this butterfly? moth? landed on the exact spot where the awning hit me. Marked? or Blessed?

Yeah, Life is Good. I guess I am part cat and thus far have used up 3 of my nine lives.

For each award I've been given a list of 10 questions and since I am feeling very Vata, I am picking and choosing 5 from each list. From Athena:

1. What is my favorite book of all time?
Hands down, Charlotte's Web. I remember sitting on the porch of our beach house as a child and devouring it in one long afternoon. And then again lying in my bed. I still cry whenever I read it. (As an adult I regularly re-read Long,Quiet Highway by Natalie Goldberg.)

2. Where in the world do I most want to visit and why.
I have wanted to visit India ever since the 1970s when my cousin made 3 extended trips there, bringing me back some of my favorite pieces of art. As a yogini, I want to see where it all began and visit some of the sacred sites.

7. What job would I love to have for one day?
I would love to be the lady in the zoo nursery who gets to wear a fuzzy sling and care for the baby gorilla or orangutan. (Cowgirl was born in the year of the monkey, so I have some expertise in bottle feeding a simian.)

9. What person, living or dead would I most like to meet?
My answer here changes depending upon my mood. I'd say the Dalai Lama just to hear him laughing in person but honestly, after a long weekend parenting a wild Cowgirl I would do better to sit at the feet of Anne Lamott and listen to her stories about mothering, mishaps, faith and courage.

10. What was one of the best moments in my life?
Lying in my hotel bed in China with Cowgirl on my lap. It was probably day 3 or 4 into our adoption trip and she was gazing at my face with such love and wonderment, and then she reached up and carefully patted my cheek with The Smile to end all smiles. In that moment, I realized we both were falling in love. Just thinking about this moment makes me feel all squishy, warm, and soft inside.

From Faerwillow:

1. If I had one chance ... would I go back in time for the day or into the future?
Well, as a fan of the t.v. show Flash Forward I'm not so sure about seeing my future! Assuming I can go back and time and not effect my future (or is it present?) self I would go back in time. If I could know then what I know now, I would go back to our first day with Cowgirl so I could really savor all the details. It was an exciting but stressful day and I would love to relive it from a more relaxed and aware perspective.

I would also love to go back to a day the husband and I hiked around the Cinque Terre in Italy and this time I would bring a bathing suit!

2. What is a favorite childhood memory?
Traveling with my godmother and her family to their farm in New Brunswick, Canada for our Thanksgiving break. I have one brother so her family of 3 daughters plus 2 collies was a chaotic joyride for me. We went into the woods to cut down a holiday tree, baked pies, performed made up plays and had marathon session card games where the rules were always changing. Boisterous, silly, creative and loving - that was my godmother.

4. What is one of my favorite songs and why? "Here Comes the Sun." I loved the Beatles as a kid and I still do. I saw Yellow Submarine in the movie theater with my baby sitter, Martha Mack and I stole all the early Beatles albums from my older brother. This song always puts me in my happy space.

5. What did I want to be when I grew up and did that dream become my reality?
I wanted to be a veterinarian until I realized I would have a hard time if/when an animal died. Deep down inside, I think I wanted to be an artist, but lacked the confidence to voice that dream. I am now redefining what I believe constitutes an artist and am excited to say "Yes" my reality right now encompasses the seed of that dream.

6. What is the most spontaneous thing I've ever done?
Cut short a trip in Greece with a girl friend to fly over to Italy for a boy (who turned out to be just a friend, but it was a fantastic trip nonetheless.) Flying standby from Athens to Rome was quite an adrenaline rush. (There had been a few bomb threats back then and the little boy on the seat next to me was reciting what must have been a Catholic prayer - he was speaking very rapido Italian and crossing himself through the flight.)

9. Do I miss anyone?
We just finished watching The Pacific on HBO and my father served in the Pacific theater at the end of the war. I wish I could have watched this series with him to hear his stories, his reactions. I wish my father could have seen me as a mother. I wish he could have known Cowgirl.

And now I get to pass this award on to some bloggers I would love to learn more about!

Julie - Julie Unplugged (a childhood friend and amazing poet who I found via blogging!)

Amanda - Persistent Green (one of the creative lovelies in Art Journal Love Letters with me)

Gina - Here and Now (a fellow wishcaster whose creative wings are unfolding before my eyes)

Kate - The Queen of Creativity (another wishcaster and her blog name suits her perfectly!)

Megula - Beyond Vision (wonderful photographs and inspiration!)
Beverley - Bunny's Girl (how many groups are we in together? a fellow Artistic Mother participant, wishcaster and explorer of many media!)

my recipients and their questions:

1. Do you have a special gift and what is it?

2. What would your perfect day consist of?

3. Who do you miss and what do you wish you could say to them?

4. Do you have a recurring dream and what is it about?

5. Who inspired you as a child? Do they inspire you today?

6. How do you hope you will be remembered?

7. Is there a moment or an event you wish you could do over and why?

8. What artwork would you like to own?

9. If you could have any talent, what would it be?

10. Describe the best meal you ever had (or perhaps your dream meal) and who was with you (or would be with you?)

Open Skies (Wishcasting)

Wishcasting Wednesday is here and today the question is:

What do I wish to experience?

What came to mind was a relaxation/visualization that I often use at the end of the yoga classes I teach. If you've never practiced yoga - and possibly even those of you who have taken classes for years - then it might be surprising to hear that the entire class - the postures, the breathing practices, the sweat and the stretch - is all preparation for the final relaxation or Savasana that comes at the end. Indeed the corpse pose as Savasana is translated is considered by one of the great masters and teachers of yoga, B.K.S. Iyengar to be The Most Difficult of all the poses. It requires one to be completely still, balanced and present. My teacher says it mentors us in the experience of dying to the past and the future while abiding fully in the now moment.

When I guide students into this practice I like to use visualization to help the mind get past some of its busyness while the body relaxes. One of my favorite prompts is to visualize the wide open sky. And in considering what it is I wish to experience, it is that sensation of feeling myself wide open and spacious like the sky.





I wish to experience myself as the sky: vast, boundless, unlimited potential, limitless possibilities.

I wish to experience myself like the sky embracing everything and holding nothing.

I wish to experience myself like the sky completely filled and completely empty.

I wish to experience myself like the sky always present, always changing.

I wish to experience my life like the sky: clouds, storms, rain, wind, sun, heat, humidity moving through me but ultimately never defining or describing me.

When I have had a deep Savasana experience, there is this moment where I am waking up and briefly I do not know who I am. Rather than being frightening, this moment is liberating. For in that moment, I am free of any burdens of who I am, who I believe myself to be and of the weight the circumstances of my life may place upon my shoulders.

Or rather, I am free of the weightiness that is being a finite me. This is what I wish to experience: my infinite Self.

(For an thoughtful article on the lessons Savasana offers us, I just found this article.)

Full disclosure: A very close second to my wish would be: I wish to experience Ewan McGregor ... well, use your imagination ...




... a spin on relaxation pose?

For more wishes (of the G-rated variety I'm sure) check here.

Weekly Reflection (Week 18): Why do I bother?

What keeps me returning to this practice?


So I am blaming my disjointed mood upon the weather that feels more like Scotland in the Spring complete with constant drizzle and chilly temperatures. I swear, if I squint, the gray clouds really do have puffy cheeks as they blow their strong winds directly into me. It is also the end of the semester at work and even though my schedule remains the same, there is this quiet lull which is unsettling after the frantic pace of finals week. There is this sense of Now What? in the air which seeps into my consciousness.

So yesterday I was pondering this weekly reflection post when this rebel thought crept into my mind: why not just skip it? The door was then open for me to consider "Why am I doing this in the first place?" and "If I stopped it, would it really matter?"

It is funny how this process has shifted and changed for me. Originally, I had intended the reflections to act as a prompt for an art journal page. Nothing too serious, but tapping into my daily life and hopefully acting as a visual record of my thoughts throughout the year. Then the writing took over from the art journaling although there have been times when the two have danced in synch together. But now I wonder if this is all too much navel gazing?

The BeItLiveItDoIt (BILIDI/April In Paris) course this past week was all about the obstacles that manifest whenever we are working towards a change, a dream, a goal. What struck me immediately was the fact that the stumbling blocks that manifest are exactly what Patanjali writes about in the Yoga Sutras in regards to practice. Fear, doubt, inertia, loss of faith, loss of ground gained, sickness, apathy are all hindrances that we can expect to face on any journey. Even though I know these hindrances are part of the process, I am always knocked off balance when they arise. Instead of showing doubt the door, I offered it a cup of tea and entertained its defeating ideas.

Okay, so I didn't even intend to go down this path today! Surrendering to the flow of things sounds so simple but requires skill to practice. The skill needed is bringing myself back to my center and back to my intention for myself and for my life. This is where my Vision Banner has already proved invaluable. Reading through other peoples comments and experiences in BILIDI I hit upon this shift in my thinking. I actually thought someone else wrote this but now re-reading the comments, I see I twisted things around to suit my situation. The issue was the quest for one's creativity to support them financially. Doing what one loves and making a living off of one's art sounds great, right? Well, I know a little bit about the grass over on that side of things and I'll just say, I know this is not the solution for me. At least, not now. But what I realized was instead of thinking about my creativity supporting me, the issue at really is: how am I supporting my creativity?

Things that make me go "Hmmmm..."

or ribbit, ribbit

I recognize I am in a wonderful phase of exploration with so many tools - writing, art, photography - available to aid me on this journey. If I want creativity to inform my life, I must first pay homage to it. I must show up for her every day with sleeves rolled up, ready to dig in and get to work. I have to walk the talk and acknowledge there will be messes, there will be mistakes, there will be moments when the forest and the trees are all muddled up and I am completely lost. So lost, that navel gazing may be the only fruitful thing I can do in that moment. But if I want creativity to thrive in me, I must provide fertile ground for her to grow.

What type of soil does creativity require? I am thinking Openness, Willingness, Fearlessness, Passion, and Commitment. The antidote to the hindrances I will encounter is very simple: Practice. And more practice. And more practice. Practice and then surrender to what arises. Surrendering to the flow does not mean I stop paddling; it is knowing when I can move through a current and when have to yield to its force.

So I am paddling away here (don't you love my mixed metaphors? rivers, gardens, navels and frogs) and I now see Doubt sitting back on the side of the river waiting for someone else to float by. And while I continue to believe the ground I am making will be rich and fertile enough to allow creativity to spill out into all aspects of my life, I am also embracing this revolutionary notion raised by Marisa on Creative Thursday : I am a thriving artist. Here is my spin:

So now I am pondering (perhaps my next reflection?) how exactly is this artist choosing to thrive? How can I/how do I embrace and express this notion? I do know this - for any garden to grow sun, storms, wind, heat and cold are all necessary. The oyster needs the irritation of the sand to make its pearl and a little adversity in my life (okay, in my thinking) can only strengthen my effort and resolve.





So to sum things up: practice, thriving, irritants and I'll add trust. This is something Cowgirl taught me the other day. She has brought home 6 little starter pots with different seeds from school. She explained to me that now we could save money by growing some of the food we need: corn, green beans, watermelons and pumpkins being our future diet. A couple of days later we were at the store and as I reached for a bag of green beans she reminded me: "Mom, you don't need to buy beans - I am growing them, remember?"

Yes, she is already a master gardener, artist and dreamer.

For more inspiration on gardening and thriving creatively, check this post out by Andrea at ABC Creativity. No mixing of metaphors there! And if you are looking for others to help you weed, fertilize and harvest your creative flower beds, check out Art Journal Love Letters and become a part of an amazing group sharing the love and joy of artful play.

Hodgepodge Monday (My Best Shots)

Mother's day weekend was a whirlwind of activities and lately I am feeling like a short order cook in the kitchen of my life. Flipping, toasting, scrambling, plating it all up. So excuse me if I take a little time to organize my head and while I'm at it, the kitchen and my art table and my pile of papers.

Cowgirl greeted me in my yoga room very early on Mother's day, still sleepy but excited to remind me it was my "special day." She has been telling me for weeks about the special secret she had been working on in school. Not one to keep secrets, she did a good job of letting me know she was keeping this secret.

And here is my Mother's day surprise:




She made me a booklet with each page describing me. For example, for the prompt "My mother likes to" she wrote "make noodles." (Hmmm ... her favorite dish. Glad to know she believes I derive great enjoyment from boiling pasta!) She sweetly wrote "My mother is loving" and my favorite is "I love it when my mother does yoga with me."




It was a special celebration as we have my mother here now and my mother-in-law also joined us for a family dinner.





The Husband spent all weekend smoking a brisket - never mind I am a vegetarian, beef is his way of saying I love you - and a hanging tomato planter is in my future. Sounding like Green Acres over here!

Here's a few more things the weekend served up:









Yes, Moose rested comfortably all weekend, the Potato head family has extended their visit and the robins must be hatching because I saw 3 empty eggs on my morning walk.

That is my hodgepodge of a weekend. Do tell about yours! ❉

Art-filled Friday (and a little yoga practice)

From the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali:

1.30 - Perception of our true nature is often obscured by physical, mental, and emotional imbalances.

1.31 - These imbalances can be prevented from engaging by developing loyalty to a sacred practice.

1.34 - Slow, easeful exhalations can be used to restore and preserve balance.

1.35 - Or engage the focus on an inspiring object.

1.39 Or dedicate yourself to anything that elevate and embraces your heart.

(Translation by Niscala Joy Devi, The Secret Power of Yoga)

Here is my interpretation of these sutras. I can honestly say, I am feeling pretty centered and inspired right now, so I would highly recommend these practices. Enjoy!

My sacred practice:








An inspiring object:






What captures and embraces my heart:








What elevates my heart and spirit:





How do you plan to find balance and joy this weekend?

Weekly Reflection (Week 17): Forgetting and Remembering

What details am I overlooking in my life? How do I commit to paying attention?

"Attention is the most concrete expression of love. What will you pay attention to today?"
- Karen Maezen Miller, Hand Wash Cold

We are big story tellers in our family. The husband excels in oral stories created on the fly while driving in the car, during bedtime or bath time and whenever there is a gap that needs embellishment. I am less spontaneous than he is and my stories are steeped in the history of our family: tales about my parents, myself as a child and the early days of our new family with Cowgirl. Cowgirl has become an excellent story teller and she blends our two styles: wildly fantastic stories of us as super heroes or dinosaurs transplanted into our daily lives. She has a regular cast of characters which includes an imaginary friend, Binker, and his nemesis, Not-Listening Binker. (Actually, Binker has morphed into Listening-Binker just to keep things straight.) Not-Listening Binker's antics are akin to Aesop's fables with clear cut messages about acceptable and naughty behavior that always result in appropriate consequences.

We have a half hour drive to school every morning and often Cowgirl will tell me a series of stories for the entire drive (they seem like one long story, but she'll argue that point.) I have to be careful to listen closely because a "oh no" spoken at the wrong time (when a criminal - that's another word for bad guy she explained to me - gets punished) gets her all riled up and annoyed by my Not-Listening.

And I want to be listening for embedded in these stories are the details of who she is becoming. Today she was a rainbow colored dinosaur and I was all the colors except for purple but then I too became rainbow colored. I realized rainbow is now her favorite color. She has asked for a rainbow knit hat, rainbow poncho and a pair of jeans with - yes, a rainbow on the back pocket. She will consistently say blue is her favorite color, but I believe she has come to know that blue is her professed favorite color even though her taste is obviously changing. Or expanding. I found out from one of her friends that she also likes pink, although she would never tell me that. So I've become a super sleuth if you will in regards to knowing my daughter.

Where am I going with all of this? Nowhere and everywhere. The one constant in life is change and as a parent I am slapped in the face on a daily basis with this fact. My daughter is changing before my eyes and I do not want to miss a single moment of it. And while her changes are more dramatic, I too am changing whether I want to or not. So wouldn't it be wise to be more present for this journey?

Yesterday I mentioned Karen Maezen Miller's line about savoring the life I have and that quote rings out sharp and clear above the din of my life. I want to savor the details. I want to store up the details like shards of sea glass in a jar for a future day when the events of Cowgirl's childhood are as distant as the churning of the ocean surf. Yet I am aware that to cling too tightly to these memories leaves little room for new ones to arise. And so I want to see each moment like a drop of dew: appreciating the world held within each radiant globe while knowing in an instant that world will be gone.

I ask myself, how do I commit to paying attention? I find my art making keeps me alert and present to my life as it unfolds. Picking up my camera to capture a prosaic moment - Cowgirl waking up - I am celebrating and recording that detail. Elements from her stories - Moose as a flying fairy - make their way into my art journals and I process my emotions and experiences through writing.

But I am pausing to consider: what arises in my day that I may overlook, forget to savor until it has already passed by me? What are the details that enrich my life? What do I want to celebrate now?

So here is my list of the things that make me happy. For today anyway:

-Lazy days when the bed can stay unmade for a return nap and there is no "must do" on the agenda other than following our bliss and being spontaneous.

-Having my mother a non-toll phone call away. My entire adult life I have lived far from my family; now my mother is just minutes away.

-The routine of daily walks with Moose. Walking him has integrated our family with the neighborhood and has made me more aware of the changing seasons and cycles of life outside our door.

-Creative play. But you already knew that one!

-Girls' spa night. Every Thursday we celebrate in style.

-Color. Spring has me intoxicated by her rich display and I am inspired to be colorful in my art.

-Dandelions. Common, tenacious, joyful in spite of their weed status. Reminding me wishing is something I can do on a regular basis. And that I can grow where ever I choose to put down my roots.

-The sky. I live in a part of the country where the sky is wide and the view ever changing as clouds and storms can roll in quickly and the power and force of nature is always present.

- A pile of books waiting for me to read them (no picture - just words) ...



...and my art journals waiting for me to splash some life and love onto their pages.




-My Yoga practice. It is what I return to again and again for inspiration, support, clarity and guidance.

In composing my list, I also am acknowledging this beautiful award passed on to me by Janice back in April.



As Janice noted in her blog, this is a wonderful reminder for me to take time to count my blessings (10 things that bring me happiness) and then to pass this award on to other 10 bloggers who inspire me to live a mindful, creative and enthusiastic life.

I could say more but haven't I gone on long enough?

Dosfishes

ABC Creativity

LifeUnity

Wag Bark Love

Bohemian Shadows

Julie Unplugged

An Artful Life

My He(Art)-full Life

Juliette Crane
Dirty Footprints Studio

If you haven't visited these blogs, then you are in for a real treat! And the connection and community I feel here through blogging, online groups and ecourses is another gift I do not want to overlook. I have been inspired and empowered by what everyone is doing here and I want to share the magic!

So, do tell, what are you choosing to pay attention to today?

Savoring the details (Best Shot & Artistic Mother)

every new journey begins with invoking the blessings of Ganesha to help us gracefully move over any obstacles in our path. double the Ganesha for extra support!

Funny how the days are getting longer but instead of getting more done, I am finding myself busier and busier with all the details of, um, well, life. Or maybe I am slowing down, taking time to enjoy things and so the days feel fuller, richer with nuance and experience. Spaciousness is a quality I have been craving lately and in an attempt to create more space in my life, I am looking at simplifying things and narrowing my focus. A bit.





Not that anyone may notice, but Mondays have been a time for my Weekly Reflections post. I am feeling a bit pinched for time given all that the first day of a work week brings and so I am moving reflections to Tuesdays to give me more time to create the art journal page and write the piece. It has been an interesting process of working in my art journal and seeing how threads of ideas emerge from the piece, inspiring me to investigate further through writing. But then the writing often moves in a different direction and inspires me to return to my art journal and to add a layer or two to the piece. I am not wanting to rush this process and pushing things back a day will give me more space in my schedule to let things evolve.

Meanwhile, today is Best Shot Monday over on Tracy Clark's blog and my intention for the coming months is to devote a bit more attention to my photography practice and strength my skills. I have a seed of an idea sprouting from BeItLiveItDoIt and the first step in moving towards that dream is to feel more confident in my photography and to clarify my approach, my "vision" or perspective, if you will.




Speaking of vision ... I have completed my Vision banner for week 4 of the Artistic Mother Group. I have it hanging by my work space to inspire me and there was something very centering in clarifying for myself what is really my mission statement when it comes to my life.




On one photograph I have an abbreviated form of what I originally wrote here and on the other image is a list of my short terms goals. Seeing my purpose and goals written out, I feel like I have been given an internal compass to help me navigate through the busyness of my days.

And navigate smoothly through the rocks and the shallows is what I am needing to do. There is so much that pulls at my attention, gremlins of worry and doubt that nip at my heels and distract me from the beauty of my life. I am calling upon the practices and the lessons I know help me to stay in my center but so often get lost in the shuffle of an over-scheduled day.

So simplicity is my cry! And the quest for this:



Costing really only common sense which is to slow down, slow down!

In an effort to practice what I am preaching here, I am now signing off in order to go gather pine cones for a fairy house that I have been promising Cowgirl we would build. I am inspired by this line from Karen Maezen Miller's new book Hand Wash Cold: "Having the good life can be so simple when you savor the one you have."

Here are some moments of I savored this past weekend from a girls' day out and about. They represent my Best Shot at living this one good life.

(oh my goodness, the Best breakfast ever! raisin wheat toast with nutella and sliced bananas! thank you for the inspiration Marisa and Susannah!)

(my favorite bathroom in all of the city! )