Friday, February 26, 2016

my promise

So in one year I racked up 169 hours volunteering with the therapy horses and riders of HETRA (Heartland Equine Therapeutic Riding Academy). I have no idea how many buckets o'manure that means I scooped but I know it resulted in two pairs of jeans worn thin and a second pair of boots purchased (oh, the joys of Muck Boots!) not to mention worn leather gloves, frayed sweatshirt and some t-shirts that should only be worn, well, in a barn. 

I apologize to all who work beside my rumpled self!

It has been quite a journey and I almost forgot the motivating force behind it: riding lessons. Finally, Cowgirl and I started our lessons which have become the highlight of our week even on some rather muddy and cold nights! I ended up investing in helmets for us (pure joy NOT having to adjust straps!) and boots, of course. Now Cowgirl and I wear the same size shoe and every week she inquires whether I wore her boots on the days I volunteer. 

I earned some free lessons but after we blew through those sessions I just couldn't imagine a week not riding. Sigh. As a wise and dear friend pointed out to me, when it comes to this equine habit "It's never. Ever. Practical. Ever." But if master Yoda were here, I have no doubt he would say "Must you do."

Indeed. We must. The last night I was with my mother, I was able to tell her I was doing this ... returning to my childhood passion ... knowing she always supported me in following my heart, following the path of love. So I feel like I am fulfilling both a promise to myself and a promise to her. 

finally, a chance to visit Beau!

 When I was considering the cost of continuing our riding lessons, I realized that a very subtle and subversion voice within me was whispering "Ah, you can do it next time around." Like, in my next childhood. I realized the part of me that holds back does so seduced by the  lie that there will be another time, another opportunity. It is a variation on the equally soul-numbing delusion of "A Better Day/Better Time." 

There is no better time than right now. No next go round, only this round, this time for this mama and her girl. And the horses. 

I try my best to greet each day with my heart open to remembering what truly matters. What are the promises I would hate to leave unfulfilled? What is in my power to fulfill on this day?

As the weather turns towards warmer, I am heading outside more and more. To observe, converse and learn from the many teachers around me ...

the trees, the plants, the birds and animals.  I have spent half my life in this place and only now am I greeting my neighbors and making new friends ...

Putting down some serious roots. Making vital connections.



  1. Right here, right now - yes, indeed! So many wonderful teachers are all around. Enjoy each moment. xoxo

  2. tears in my eyes, lump in my throat. yes, yes and all the giant YESes. xoxoxox ps.I'll save the rest of my gushing thoughts for a letter!! xo