It Figures

Cowgirl offering her sick mama some love ♥

The husband left on Saturday for a 5 day trip and I woke up that morning with the start of a cold. Had to take Cowgirl with me to Chinese class and to my yoga class which involved packing similar to a jungle expedition. We're talking organization skills up the wazoo and my brain was beginning a long, slow melt down. Then I lost my voice. For 3 days. Didn't faze Cowgirl in the least and she kept talking and asking questions and generally relishing the sound of her voice dominating every conversation. Oh, and the only conversations I have had for the past 5 days have been with her as I am sticking close to my bed and Moose is not much of a conversationalist.

And if all that doesn't warrant a pity party, let's add that I am on week 2 of Unravelling: Exploring the Senses and yes, this week is all about smell and the only thing I can smell right now is the Vick's vapor rub slathered onto my chest. Oh, and in the Creative Goddess course we are working with the energy of the throat chakra. Honest. Not that I have the energy to do anything except prop my novel upon my belly and read until I drift off into a NyQuil induced coma. (Can they make those measuring cups any harder to read? I mean, I'm already delirious with sinus congestion and then trying to read the dosage on the cups is insane.) Although rest is limited as I am driving Cowgirl into school, then picking her up; walking the dog; martial class to take her to; dinners to be made or purchased; and school lunches to be packed. All karmic payback for the holiday when my poor mother was sick in bed and we (my dad and brother and I) insisted she still make us the holiday meal. I am so sorry mom. I had no idea.

I do take it as a good sign that I am thinking about all the things I want to be doing ... pictures to take, art projects to start and finish. And there is the sobering thought that Halloween is only 10 days away and I still have to figure out Cowgirl's costume and she is insistent upon going out as Hong Kong Phooey. Really. We gotta get her working on her Scatman Crothers impersonation.

So until my senses return, here is some visual inspiration from my first week of exploring Sight. Focus was upon color and shapes and I really got into looking for hearts. It was great to get my eyes looking in a new way and my poor nose is eager for her chance. Sigh. Soon dear snoze, soon.

can you see my poor red snout?

Oh, and a little advice to anyone on decongestants: it is not a good idea to surf Etsy while under the influence. Let's just say, I'm not sure what will be arriving in the mail and there are several unfamiliar order confirmation emails in my inbox. Er, ahem, Paypal ... what is my limit?

A long winter

I know, I know, Winter is still a ways away, but with unseasonably cold weather here it feels like December. Plus it has been gray, rainy and just plain dreary. Not that I mind staying inside with a fire going, a good book to read and plenty of tea and cocoa in the pantry but matters get more complicated with a 5 year old who only has High Speed and Off buttons.

So here is a glimpse into what is a mommy's last defense: dancing!





This day I am trusting in my reserves of creativity to keep us active and engaged for the coming months. I am grateful for great music, like Dan Zanes, which has gotten me singing even while stuck in traffic on the way to work. He just puts me in a good mood. And no matter how grumpy I may be, hearing a little voice from the backseat wailing "all around the kitchen cock a doodle doodle doo!" brings an immediate smile to my face.

And inspired? Well I've embarked upon Unravelling Further: Exploring the Senses and it promises to be a juicy, exciting, stimulating, engaging, feast for all my senses. My camera is out and snapping away and my hope is to expand my vision when it comes to photography and hone my personal view.

I would love to know: what do you do when the weather forces you inside?

The camera never lies ...

... but I am having a hard time accepting some of its truths. I knew Cowgirl had been getting heavier, but when did my baby turn into a little girl?

Cowgirl at age 3

Cowgirl at age 4

Cowgirl at age 5

And why is three years looking a lot rougher on me?

goddess of small things

In various forums this question keeps coming up for me: what am I the goddess of? I've been stumped. Uncertainty? Change? Transformation? Self Discovery?

Pondering this question, the phrase The Goddess of Small Things popped into my mind. Yeah, a play on the novel title but after an initial chuckle over my tendency to appropriate things, it settled on me and seems right. I am seeking to find magic in the details; heck, I am seeking to notice the details! In my style statement, I came up as a Cherished Creative and I think cherishing is central to my nature and my outlook. I want to savor and cherish every juicy bit life hands to me. The world seems busier and busier and I am rebelling by trying to slow down, feeling okay with telling people no, I need time and space for myself and for family time and then let myself really be here now. (see? I am the goddess of appropriation!)

So details details and more details. Driving home today from school, Cowgirl and I were listening to one of the cds that is probably permanently fused into the player, Dan Zanes "NightTime" which is going on its third year, along with a kids yoga cd called Happy, and more recently, the sound track from Slumdog Millionaire filling out regular rotation. As mind numbing as this is, I hope to never forget this detail from our life. Or how Cowgirl wraps a towel around her head and speaks in a high voice imitating her Grandmother. She then hides behind her dad and drops the towel, popping out to surprise me as if I really believed my MIL had been visiting just moments ago.

I want to remember our nature walks when every stick, stone and piece of scat is scrutinized. Or how Cowgirl hands me things found on the street, informing me it is my clue, as if we were part of Scooby Doo's gang on the trail of a mystery.




And I never want to forget a magical afternoon sharing yoga and art making with a group of girls - my first workshop for Cowgirl Warrior Artists! On a whim I decided to add this workshop to my yoga center's fall calendar. I had been thinking I should have offered another adult class instead; that I probably would find working with the kids too overwhelming and exhausting. Not at all! I was amazed by how smoothly the afternoon went; how fabulously inspired these girls were and how engaging and enjoyable art making in a group can be. I think we miss out not having regular times for sewing, knitting or painting circles. Granted, that's pretty much all girls and women had back in "the old days" but certainly important bonding, growth and maybe even a little subversive activity does place nurtured in a safe circle of support and mutual interest.




So my cowgirls did yoga, collaged, painted rocks and we closed by dancing ... yes, to Dan Zanes. And the detail I want to remember? Besides the joy on their faces, the ease of their laughter and pleasure in just being kids? I want to remember their inspired feet and these rockin' cowgirl boots. So maybe I am the Goddess of Cowgirls? 'Cos all these memories are making me want to kick up my heels and run off yelling Ya HOO!




Yes, power and beauty in small things. That's what I'm into these days.

Transformation

This week's project on the Goddess Creativity ecourse is about transformation and specifically letting go of what holds me back from living my dreams. (Okay, this is my spin on the assignment.) I've known it is all about attitude, choosing happiness, choosing in this moment to relish the gifts and opportunities present rather than wallowing in fear, doubt or worries. So how fitting I receive this email from the Universe this week:

Tell you what, Lisa: If you can get happy right now, in spite of any
problems, challenges, and circumstances that now seem to taunt you, I'll take
care of those problems, challenges, and circumstances, as well as "ever-after."

Agh-hmm... Please, do the math, take the bait, and never look back.

The Universe

I am finding something has been shifting for me ... an easing up of the worries, a settling into the pleasure of pure play and creating and a slight, ever so slight, opening up of space and time for me to do the things I love. I was reflecting upon my life in the past month and that perspective allowed me to see that while I may feel there is never enough time or energy to "do it all," indeed I do pack a lot of living into my days. I tend not to give myself enough credit.



So today I am taking my transformation arrow, loaded with prayer slips of all that I want to release to the goddess/Universe and will gift it back to the earth. I am excited to really feel the layers being dropped as I move into the life I want to be living. This weekend I will teach my first kids art camp and rather than nervous, I am excited and relaxed about the day. I know I cannot control what will come up, so I am just preparing myself for the adventure. This, my friends, is not my usual way of operating. And it feels good!



A bit of a hodge podge here ... but I also wanted to share Cowgirl's pictures from her birthday party. Sometimes I am brilliant. I gave her a disposable camera and she ran around her party taking pictures. When I got them back, I was so impressed by her array of images. She really took a nice variety of shots that captured a day at the pumpkin patch.

A personal favorite: her view of her daddy. With his head chopped off I can't help but think she is visually cutting out his mouth and his words.




This is was hands down the happening spot: the baby chick house. Yes, after handling all those fluffy chicks, the kids then came out for snacks and cake. Ummm ... germy goodness!


At the last minute, I splurged on doggy themed party items. It was money well spent when I saw this ...


And for any of you having gone through Unravelling ecourses, you can imagine my pride when a feet and shadow shot was captured!


All my pictures from the party were of the kids. It was such a gorgeous day, I am happy she got this shot. Somehow the tilted perspective seems appropriate.



A final portrait of the photographer herself. Yes, I am one proud momma!




I am grateful for the gifts of creativity that both my daughter and myself are exploring; I am inspired by her images to keep on going; I am trusting the Universe to take care of the small stuff and leave me time for the juicy good bits.

Phew ... a marathon of topics! Off to bury my stick. What adventures does your weekend have in store for you?

Where my head is these days ....

... swirling around and around in a vortex of ideas, activities, chores, to do lists and changes a-plenty. No words ... just images for now.




Glimpses from my day that keep me chuggin' along this crazy track called life. What keeps you movin' and groovin' and in love?

My Guru (and TGIF)

When the student is ready,

The teacher will come.

My guru stands

just a growth spurt under

42 inches short

Each afternoon

our lessons take place

The classroom – the sidewalk

Her teaching tool – a bike

Strapping on her helmet

a samurai of the spider-girl clan

my sensei

Begins

Suburban mother’s Sublime

not quite terror

but apprehension

mingled with awe

as I watch my child

Legs pumping

Pedals spinning

Bike flying

farther and farther

away from me

Pigtails

tiny prayer flags

sending Blessings

streaming

back to me

in the wake

of her flight

She is my personal

koan

mind-stopper

her actions requiring me to

drop the folly

of rational thought

forcing me into

the realm of

intuition

tutoring me in the wisdom

that is only accessible

by the heart

Eternally my baby

reminding me

of a newly hatched fledgling

feathers still damp

movements wobbly

plowing forward

Unaware

or unconcerned

of the dangers that lie ahead

You exemplify the truth

that nothing stands still

least of all ourselves

and Change is

present in every moment

I watch in wonderment

of your Courage

bravely rushing forth

to greet your future

and welcoming

the exhilaration of challenge

I recognize I cannot linger

in the past

or else I will be left

far behind

and life

cannot be lived from the safety

of a front porch

but by greeting it

head up

head on

Try as I might

to hold onto these moments

these feelings

shining pebbles of

Aliveness

the waves of life

sweep in and wash

everything away

in preparation for new

Offerings

Gifts

Inspirations

You move farther and farther

ahead

never glancing

back

but modeling a profound level of

Trust

that I am always running behind you

and present

To witness the triumphs -

a masterful negotiation of that sidewalk bump -

and quick

to clean up the spills

administer the kisses

to boo-booed knees or shins

my hand at the ready

to support you

through challenging

terrain

You show me

Life is fragile

We teeter our way through

balance always delicate

and even with training wheels

we still can fall

so we must continue

to practice

and practice some more

Accepting the falls

Believing

risks taken

will be outweighed

by the magnificence

of our flight