Friday, June 4, 2010

Archive Edition


Things are a little hectic around here. Good friends are visiting and keeping up with Cowgirl and her best buddy Ava seems to demand all of my energy. We met Ava's parents when we were in China and the girls are only one week apart in age. Ava is Cowgirl's oldest friend and our families have made it a priority to get the girls together at least once a year. Well, okay, the Mommies, as we are known, have our priority to see each on as regular as a basis as possible. I'm not sure who has more fun: the girls who immediately fall into a routine of mimicking each other (imagine: DOUBLE the knock-knock jokes!) or the mommies who usually kick back with good food, good drinks and lots to talk about. It is a rare treat to take time out to hang out with another family. It reminds me of my childhood when families gathered regularly - the adults socializing and the kids doing what kids do best: running wild.

So I am distracted by the Wild Things here and am hoping I can capture some of their magic to share later on. In the meanwhile, I've been digging through my archives if you will and polishing up some pieces written last fall when I was taking a 30 day Juicy Journaling writing course with Sark. With the start of Kelly Rae Robert's Flying Lessons course, this piece entitled LEAP seemed very apropos. And after a weekend with 2 five year olds, I should know a few more things about leaping. And jumping. And skipping, and singing and endless demands to stay up late pretty please darling mommy.

Have a great weekend. I hope to be back to normal later next week. Or maybe I hope to expand my normal to include more summer madness?



It jumped out at me

A line I saw somewhere yesterday

“If I do take that leap,

will a net really materialize?”


I’ve been thinking about it

Ever since

What leap or leaps

Do I have inside me

Awaiting the opportunity

To propel me forward and up?


It seems I’ve been dancing around

An issue

A discomfort

An obstacle in my life

That screams at me

To go another way

An immovable object

In my psyche

That requires me

To create a new path.


My problem is

And always has been

Knowing whether reservation

Hesitation

Is the voice of intuition advising me

Or Fear seizing control?


Reflecting upon past leaps

I know at the time

I had a flash

“Do this”

And so I would set off

And yes, there were

Lions and Tigers and Bears

But oh my what journeys!

None I regret taking.


Honestly,

Maybe it is selective

Amnesia

But I cannot recall

A chance I took that didn’t

Take me in the direction

I needed to go

Even if at the time

I wasn’t clear about

Where

That would be.


So why do I

Continue to

Second-guess myself?


I do not want to become

A female

J Alfred Prufrock

Measuring my life

A coffee spoon at a time

My moment of greatness

Another quick flicker

That fades before I can

Enjoy it.

No, I do not wish to say

Of myself

“In the end,

I was afraid.”


My mermaid

My muses

My angels

All singing

And whether they are singing to me

Or for others or just themselves

It does not matter

For if I choose

To add my voice

Then it becomes my song

As well.


If I leap, will a net appear?

If I sing, will voices join me?

If I dance

Will I twirl my way

Into a new beginning?







6 comments:

  1. Just wanted to say hi, looks like we're in 2 groups together - Flying Lessons and Artistic Mother. And we both live in the midwest. Have a wonderful weekend :D

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  2. Ah Lis,
    I love this poem about leaping! I too am in the flying lessons course and it definatly has got my wheels a churning about dreaming big and taking leaps! I love the line in your poem, "But I cannot recall
    A chance I took that didn’t Take me in the direction I needed to go Even if at the time I wasn’t clear about Where That would be." It seems like no matter how many times this has happened for me, it doesn't seem to solidify in my mind that this is always the case! I also love the last line....and I think that if you sing, others voices will be inspired to join you, as I always am when I hear you sing the song of your world here on your blog...it inspires me to join in. absolutely. have a fabulous weekend with those five year olds!

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  3. I think jumping on the bed is a good start - just don't let Cowgirl see you or she'll join you. On second thought, made you should let her see you. Oh yes, the old Fear Factor. I wrote a note to myself two days ago that said "driven by fear" because it became obvious that I am. I, too, have no regrets for the times I've leapt. So why is it so darned hard to trust? I wish I had the answer to that.

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  4. ~oh how i l♥ve your reflective thoughts...you created feelings that swil around inside my own mind...speak thoughts i ponder the same...i say go ahead and TWIRL your way to a new...warm wishes and brightest blesssings~

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  5. Singing, dancing, and leaping into possibilities of your life--your reflection speaks to so many of us who want to let go of the fear. The older I get, the braver I am...what do I have to lose? I've been rewarded again and again when I take a risk and try something new and maybe even unexpected!

    Enjoy the summer madness--it's a time to let loose and enjoy childlike pleasures.

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  6. I have not doubt that the net will appear and the voices will join you. You inspire us all each time we read your blog. Have a wonderful weekend.

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