This Moment

Today was the final post for THIS Moment with Mindy Tsonas. Given the natural mania of the holiday season and add to that a dog that continues to have "problems" (he ate a slipper this week ... something is up with his stomach and I am praying my vet will morph into James Herriot and uncover the missing link to this puzzle) I have been grateful for the commitment I made to myself to complete a practice page/art postcard each day. It has been helpful to look through my growing collection - 30 cards so far - and see how varied my days have been. Or rather, my awareness and perception of each day. Joy, celebration, confusion, exhaustion mark some days. But more than anything, the act of taking time to check in with myself, to pause and notice, that practice has revealed a deep reserve of Hope and Faith in myself and in my life.

Before the course started, Mindy asked each of us this question: When you clear away all the judgments, the expectations, the desires and needs and have-to's, what do you see in this very moment?

This has been the central theme to the course and what I have asked myself every day. And now I come to the end and realize my practice, my training and study of yoga is about the same thing: stripping away all that is not who we are (but what we misidentify as ourselves - our emotions, our thoughts, our experiences, our perception of our imperfections) we come to discover our true essence, our true self strong, shining, clear and enduring as a diamond.

When I take away all my anxieties, fears, doubts, false perceptions (like lack of abundance or worthiness) what is left behind?

Love.

This was my answer for Mindy over a month ago and it is my answer today:

When I clear away all the judgments, the expectations, the desires and needs and have-to's, what I see in this very moment in my life is love wrapping its arms around me; joy filling every cell within me; and gratitude spilling out from me as the blessings of life shine brightly in front of me.

And laughter, lots of laughter at the sublime craziness and beauty of life.

This is the gift of being present. This is the gift of being alive.