Which is not to say doubt or obstacles or what the hell are you thinking? doesn't immediately follow upon the heels of inspiration.
The trick has been to speak out loud the idea, to bring it into light of some kind (ideally involving another person who then holds me accountable to my plan) and to began making movement towards the dream, all the while acknowledging but tactfully disregarding the gremlins of doubt who whisper a steady stream of reasons imploring me to cease and desist.
Confirmation of the rightness of my plan comes with each step I take towards it. A frisson of excitement and fuck! I AM doing this! mingle with the ever-fading gremlin's taunts. And then there comes a moment when I step fully and completely into my dream and the weight of any doubt or fear tangibly lifts off of my being and I sail forward into a technicolor Now.
Growth and vitality and heart-full expansion are possibilities held within the seeds of such dreams.
There is nothing more technicolor brilliant than the embrace and smile of a dear friend received in the green of her world.
Leaving my job, embarking upon uncharted territory of self-employment (or radical self empowerment?) has been a disorienting experience and as things have turned out, I completely upended myself by traveling down under the next day after my departure.
It seems it was the perfect time for a new perspective upon my life.
Traveling to New Zealand (a bucket list item if ever there was one!) I brought with me wise companions whose words helped frame my experience (the following quotes are from John O'Donohue's Greenbelt festival talks):
An interesting question to ask yourself: How open are you to the mystery of your own beauty and the incredible depth that is your life?
Behind every face there is something eternal going on and that's the magic ... no one has seen the script for anyone else's life. What are you doing to the life that you have?
You are a custodian of sacred thresholds on which you alone stand.
If you were to clearly explain to your heart how brief your time in the world is, what are the things your heart would make you stop doing right now?
What (or who) would you immediately embrace?
If you look after the hungers of your heart, then everything else comes alive around you.
Every person is the holder of incredible possibilities ...
From Pema Chodron The Wisdom of No Escape: Navajo teach their children that every morning when the sun comes up, it's a brand new sun. It's born each morning, it lives for the duration of one day, and in the evening it passes on, never to return again. As soon as the children are old enough to understand, the adults take them out at dawn and they say, "The sun has only one day. You must live this day in a good way, so that the sun won't have wasted precious time." Acknowledging the preciousness of each day is a good way to live, a good way to reconnect with our basic joy.
This was a week of dreams. Reflecting upon the process of how I got from here to there, I appreciate all the signs - the excitement, the doubts, the anticipation, the questions - that remind me I am on to something big, something important, something that I believe was a possibility made manifest.
An ancient master said, "I do not say that there is no Zen, but that there is no Zen teacher." You must trust yourself in all endeavors and have faith to put your feet in motion. (Karen Maezen Miller Hand Wash Cold)
Simply stated: I had a dream, really an inkling of a dream. I trust in my dream and in myself. I took a step - many steps - and found myself received by a beloved friend. Another friend recently wrote me, marveling at that very word beloved which I had stamped onto a prayer flag for her. The one we behold, we love but what I hadn't thought about and which this other dear one pointed out is that broken down, it becomes be loved.
Listening to my heart, following its guidance, seeking my beloved friend, I opened myself up to being loved. I fully and gratefully received that gift ... and now I dare to pass it on.
What journeys might your heart implore you to follow? How can you take a small step forward today?
Not the end, but a new beginning (and I cannot resist ...)
So much gratitude for the generosity, the beauty, and the immense and fierce love that is Jane Cunningham. Thank you sister for sharing with me your world and for fortifying my heart. Not enough words to encompass all that I want to share ... but I know, you know ... deep in the stone ... you know. (to learn about Jane's upcoming and always amazing e-courses, visit her at Women's Soul Workshops. Her Facing the Minotaur e-course has been rocking my inner archetypes ... in a good way!)
