I'm not sure whether it is my current state of head and heart or earth's own somnolence with the Winter Solstice now upon us. Even though I have had to venture out (!) for last minute errands and some very essential (and soul nurturing) teatime with friends, I still feel suspended out of time and in that liminal space of not-quite-knowing/not yet there-wherever-there-may-be.
And the oddest thing of all - I am relaxing into all of that. I am okay with being in my current state of old-dog-shuffling-about-the-house-looking-for-a-place-to-rest.
I have had two very rich and grounding sessions with a seriously amazing wise woman who is an astrologer slash storyteller slash myth-mapper with a huge dose of heart-healthy humor and goosebumps inducing truth telling. (Carol Ferris, based in Portland OR. We used Skype for our sessions. Email her at: email@example.com)
firstname.lastname@example.orgShe has helped me connect the dots and perceive the greater image of myself and the journey of my life thus far. She explains how this is the season of dark and cold and "all of the seeds are in the ground, everything is there" and now "the seeds are dreaming in the dark."
That is it, isn't it? Now is not the time for efforting, pushing, building, and certainly not for understanding. Now is the time for rest ...time to allow the mystery to be ... for the seeds of what I cannot yet name or know (for to do so would be to limit their potential) ... time for those seeds to be dreaming in the dark.
In my current dreamy-state, I have been able to perceive the outline of forms, rhythms, rituals that slowly but steadily taken root. In this season of traditions, I recognize what naturally has to fall away now that my mother is no longer here to participate, but I see what has arises to fill that space.
Behold: our yearly ornament experimentation!
Each year Cowgirl brings home an ornament (or two ... or three ...) crafted at school.
Decorating our family tree, I realized I have a bevy of homemade ornaments collected over the years. There are the ones I've made ...
And the ones made and gifted to me by friends.
This ornament practice has been quietly rooting itself within our holiday preparations. In these final days before Christmas, I am imagining holiday music, the smell of baking cookies (each year we bake and plate Santa his Christmas treat ... along with a finger of Scotch which we know he appreciates), and a busy production line of ornaments to be completed.
Gentle, warm, creative time in which we nurture ourselves while allowing our seeds their time in the dark to dream and be.
Happy Solstice. Wishing you the full enjoyment of the magic, the memories, the joy of this season of the dark turning towards the light.
Final day to enter my giveaway! Details to be found HERE.