the art of non-doing

I've been thinking all week that I've been busy doing nothing. Well, not nothing per se, but allowing myself to wander more or less through my days rather than adhering to my usual agenda of do-do-do. My approach has been more like beach vacation state-of-mind: what would be most relaxing and enjoyable in this moment? And in this one?

No, we're not on Spring break over here and in fact I've been getting up regularly at 5:30ish (the ish-ness is an important lure for my mind - if I rigidly think "I'm getting up at 5:30" well, rebellion will ensue ... but 5:30ish gives a sense of leeway and easiness that tricks me into actually getting up!) In fact, I dare say my early morning routine is responsible for creating my more relaxed attitude and sense of an easy flow to my days.

What is the magic trick? I get up and sit on my meditation cushion and breathe.

Yuppers ... I get up early to breathe.

The yogis believe that we are allotted a certain number of breaths to a lifetime so if we want to lengthen our time in our current form, we must slow the breath rate down. Take our time breathing.

There are articles and studies related to the benefits of certain breathing practices (pranayama) but honestly, I am committed to this practice right now because I am already experiencing its benefits. My day feels more spacious, my relationship to time more harmonious and yielding, my reactions and responses calmer and more gentle. I just feel smoother and lighter and more focused and centered.

Clarity is my intention for this year and I am feeling it manifesting in my inner life and outer world.

Things that are making my days rich and alive:

Reconnecting with friends through letter writing. When I receive a letter or a card in the mail, I am aware of the time and care taken out of a busy day to connect with me and I so enjoy honoring that by sitting down with a warm drink, paper, pen and my thoughts. I think the greatest loss of our current age of clutter and over-stimulation is the space and time to cultivate a real conversation between souls. It is a dying art but thankfully there are many committed to its survival. I received this surprise in the mail this week from one such angel in and I recognize I am blessed to have many in my life who nurture my spirit with their words and care.

thank you dear Milena ... she hangs by the door to my yoga room,
greeting me every day!

I've been experimenting with herbal tea infusions thanks to the generous and playful HerbMother and her Spring HerbCraft camp.








Each day I take a quart mason jar and drop a handful of whatever herbs calls to me - nettles, oatstraw, catnip, spearmint, red leaf raspberry - then fill the jar with either boiling water to steep with the lid on, or room temperature water and then place the lidded jar in the sun for the entire day. The next day I strain it and drink it - delicious! My favorite concoction so far is nettles, lemongrass, catnip, licorice, hibiscus and rosehips. Even Cowgirl enjoys the taste and Latisha has several recipes she suggests for children, so I can't wait to brew up larger quantities this summer.







And as it is truly Spring here, it must be time for painted postcards.







I've been involved in two swaps with cards going to wonderfully exotic locales like Latvia, Sweden, Slovenia, and Malaysia. I have received a bounty of creative fun in my mailbox including a knitted postcard! (I know, no picture, how unlike me to not photograph something ... blame it on beach fatigue and too much sun ...)








I find making these cards inherently soothing and pleasurable. I am reminded of painting by numbers kits although my process is to sketch the one image - bird, dog, snail - and then allow the rest to paint itself in. I don't even mix my paints - I like them straight and full bodied.

I've been writing stream of consciousness bits of poetry or responses to these prompts: Today I am here to ... or This is what I have to say to you. I am surprised by how kind I am to myself and that there is this voice of forgiveness and acceptance deep within if I just allow the surface chatter, the loops of self judgement and criticisms, to wash away.









I found a letter I wrote to myself at the end of a week long silent meditation retreat. We turned these letters in to our instructor and he mailed them to us, months later. Eight years later, I re-read this letter and find my advice to myself, from mySelf still necessary:

Take time to reflect upon that which brings you joy and fills your heart with love and gratitude. Take time for yourself and also to be with others who share you beliefs or values .... Look at what is possible, not at what is lacking or missing or wrong. Don't shy away from challenge - push yourself to grow and respect the time you need for integration .... remember to laugh and don't take it all so seriously. Laugh, smile, and love - especially yourself.








I also found this quote copied down in an old journal:

A single event can awaken within in us a stranger unknown to us. To be alive is to be slowly born. - Saint-Exupery

I am a baby, learning to breathe and crawl and walk all over. Only this time, I am able to pay attention to the process and enjoy the exploration.







What stranger waits for you? Are you ready to play? Just breathe and laugh ... it seems to be the season for it.

the power of pigtails

I've been playing around with drawing figures in my journal and Book of Days and I've noticed a couple of trends ...








Yes, the head are ginormous which says a lot about the part of my body that gets the most attention (hello brain, I know you've been overworked and I am doing my best to convince you to take early retirement ...)

But what I am really enjoying these days are pigtails and ponytails (known as doggy ears in our house):








I seem to be fixated upon them.









Which got me thinking about my hair and how my relationship with it has been less than loving or accepting. As a child, red hair was just about the absolute last thing I would ever have wanted for myself, only to be surpassed by freckles as most odious physical trait. (As a kid I wasn't buying the old "angel kisses" line - quit giving me messy kisses! was my precocious reaction.)

When you have red hair, you stand out and I very definitely wanted to blend in. Vanish really. I would fantasy about the day when I could buy myself a wig. Blonde or brunette, it didn't matter, the hair just had to be long and silky straight.

Silky is not a typical characteristic of red hair. In fact, red hair has the annoying tendency to draw added attention to itself by becoming puffy (as Cowgirl likes to call my hair), frizzly, kinky and curly. It seems to know I want to be smaller and so perversely it makes itself larger. It curls when I want it tame and becomes a heavy flop of straw when I want it curly.

It really does have a mind of its own.









As a redheaded girl the only options available to me as role models were Carol Burnett and Ginger from Gilligan's Island. Goofball (Lucille Ball) or Sex Kitten. For some inexplicable reason my mother felt compelled to tell me at an early age that there never had been a red headed Miss America because redheads were viewed as "hussies." (My mom bemoaned the transformation of her auburn tresses to mousy brown throughout her entire life which makes the hussy comment even more perplexing to me now that I consider it.)

Mary Magdalen is often depicted with red hair. As are clowns.

So I've suffered my red hair most of my life (The Husband claims it was what first attracted him to me - he had a thing for Ann Margaret "in her prime") but it is only now as the color is fading that I am finding myself embracing it and all that it represents.







I am reclaiming Red and embracing the power of pigtails. I am proudly waving my Ginger flag and all that it embodies: spunk (Pixies were thought to be red-haired) , individuality, independence, defiance. Less than four percent of the world's population are true redheads (and yes, there is one immodest way to prove one's true redness) and the rarity of red hair may account for the belief in Medieval times that redheads were witches.

Adam's first wife, Lilith, is also depicted with red hair. It seems unruly and powerful leaders and visionaries often were redheaded: Boudica (celtic warrioress) and Queen Elizabeth I along with Thomas Jefferson and George Washington.

But when I wear my hair in pigtails I am connecting with the heroine of my childhood who gave me that first taste of the possibilities inherent by proudly celebrating my hair's redness:








Yes, I've come home to Pippi Longstocking. The most powerful girl in the world. How could I ever have forsaken you?








Just don't call me Red. Ever. Unless you want to see me really enraged ...

About a girl

Have I mentioned how much we love using disposable cameras in our house? (I know ... just typing the word disposable makes me feel guilty and robber baronish.)

But Cowgirl loves having her own camera to use and so it has become a kind of tradition that for every major event, she receives a camera to document the day.

She has also misplaced many a disposable and I've had to run out and buy a new camera when we couldn't find the camera that always seems to have 15 pictures left.

Which is how we came to discover TWO partially used cameras - the contents of which were a mystery to us. A few days later (after no apparent event worthy of documenting in film) Cowgirl presented me with one camera ready to be developed.

I think my favorite moment is when I am sitting in my car holding the packet of just-paid-for developed pictures. I always hesitate for a moment - should I wait and let Cowgirl be the first to gaze upon the wonders?

I never wait. The temptation is too great; the experience is akin to lifting off the top of her head and seeing exactly what lurks inside her mind. I mean, what parent doesn't gaze upon their child and wonder "What is going on in that brain?" (I guess I could say the same about the dog, although I have a good idea it revolves around food and tummy rubs.)

This is what lurks inside:







Some facts about my girl (those tidbits I think I will never forget but have discovered do quickly slip away as they are replaced by equally fascinating and often bizarre new tidbits):







In her next life she will be a cheetah. (I know that is a jaguar; she loves all big cats and I imagine this homage was made with the intention of commemorating her passion for all wild things.) She has directed me, upon dying, to "wait for her" and then we will come back together as cheetahs. I guess I am suppose to go into limbo or perhaps be a friendly ghost until she joins me? (In subsequent lifetimes she will be a Transformer. I have not been invited into those lives.)








She loves her friends. She continues to amaze me with her very social nature. She is outgoing, adventurous, generous and forthcoming in ways I could never have imagined myself being at 7 let along 37. (At 47, maybe ...)










She loves her dog. He is the only little brother she will allow in the family. She tattles on him ("Moose is licking the floor!"), bosses him about, dotes on him (when she is in the mood) and in general ignores him in person and celebrates him in her artwork and stories.










Cars are people. Cars have complex lives and adventures. She wishes we had named her Hot Wheels.









She must have been a penguin in a previous life. She has a penguin baby now and I am its grandmom.

And the biggest mystery and greatest miracle of them all? That this is what she sees every day










and she still loves me immensely. Yep, just as I am.

I dare you ... peering into the mind of a child you love ... it's a wild and wonderful place.








But be prepared to be baffled and a little concerned ...

(a prize for the best guest as to what this is?! I have a set of 5 newly printed postcards from some of my paintings which I will give away next week for the best answer. Help me unravel this mystery! Comment or email me: lishofmann(at)novia(dot)net.)

FYI: the camera developed had pictures from her birthday party last year; the top photo is her using that very camera!

welcome visitors

Instructions for living a life:

Pay attention.

Be astonished.

Tell about it.

- Mary Oliver

I am welcoming my teachers with open arms:

Aine - Celtic goddess of love and light, transformed into a fairy queen when the old ways were driven out of Ireland, she represents for me survival. She is a summer goddess, evoking fertility and the continuing power of magical ways which are available to those with a heart willing to accept and believe in its own power.

I have to confess: this season of unsettled weather has had me on edge. Seeking some sense of control, I gathered favorite herbs, mixed them in a bowl while singing a yoga chant of protection and then headed out to the fairy circle in the back of our yard. There, I offered my prayer for protection while also acknowledging the power and the gifts of nature. I thanked the fairies for all they do and then walked the perimeter of our yard singing my song and bringing into my heart the blessings of my home and all the life - the birds, animals, plants, and insects as well as the earth and air deities - who share this space with my family. Having acknowledged the gifts received, I do feel more at ease with whatever happens.

Moth - A recent visitor, although now I am seeing moth everywhere. I pulled the Moth card and that day went into work and rescued a moth from my office. A day later, I got out of my car and found a pure white moth lying on the ground. Nocturnal by nature, moth represents intuitive knowing over intellectual understanding. For me the gift of moth is understanding that we always move towards the light. My actions may be less than skillful, but the intention, the faith and the determination are always there.

Mouse - While hawk is one of my main totem guides, mouse - like rabbit - is a necessary companion. Hawk represents a more spacious awareness or presence, useful for someone like me who gets bogged down by details, momentary distractions and discomforts. But it is necessary for me to return to what is causing me anxiety, to explore it more intimately, closely so that I might understand what rests underneath it all. Mouse is about paying attention to what is right before me and giving my full attention to the details of my life. And then knowing when it is best to return to my hole and take refuge, allowing the wider perspective of hawk to help fill in my experience, my understanding of what is true in my life.

If you cannot find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it? - Master Dogen

What is astonishing you today? What visitors come bearing gifts? Let's share the bounty of our experience.

Monday Inspiration Celebration: Springtime thoughts

While Spring has been slow in manifesting, it has been on my mind for a long, long time. It seems with each passing year I anticipate the arrival of Spring with a little more urgency than I did the year before. Is this a natural part of aging? (She says as she dons bedraggled slippers, moth eaten cardigan ...) Or a sign of a growing sensitivity and awareness? It feels as if my bones crave sunlight and warmth, my senses desperate for the sights and scents and sounds of new life.

Thankfully, there were tantalizing glimpses of sunlight and wafts of spring breezes peppered throughout the holiday weekend. It did not rain as forecasted and the neighborhood Easter egg hunt went off without a hitch (which means the snake living in the field was found before the egg hunt!)


















Cowgirl had a grand day: Mr. Rabbit and the Fairies and Fred, our Gnome delivered a bountiful basket.

cowgirl really wanted the penguin stamp; i found a cute chicken coin purse, japanese animal erasers & a new sketch pad. of course, the comments were all about the lack of variety in the candy. i admit, i kept saying "that Easter bunny really knows how to pick out good gifts. to no avail.

I even got my buns down to the sewing machine and made her the tote bag I had been promising for months. (Note to moms considering crafty acts of love and kindness: do not expect gratitude equal to the effort or frustration put forth in said project; do expect demands to become more elaborate and precise.) What was to be a simple bag morphed into the faux-quilt bag. I talked her out of an actual patchwork bag - I loathe cutting multiple and precise squares - and into this more haphazard affair although Cowgirl was very specific about the fabric selections and their arrangement. Random is not in her vocabulary.

In addition to the miracle of a rabbit delivering thousands of baskets on one day (hence the need for our Fairies and Fred to help out) we had a little in-house miracle of our own: Cowgirl rode her bike without the training wheels.









Her current bike is way too small for her and jokingly the Husband told her she would have to ride it first before getting a new bike. So she hopped on and that was that. (I'd like to believe my girl inherited her determination and persistence from moi but she was definitely born with it.)

I also managed to finish off a few more pieces for my 49 by 49 project. One of my intentions for the project was to experiment more in techniques and media, the small format of the cards lending themselves to trying new things out. Which is my way of saying - and expecting - that I won't always like the end result. I decided I would not trash any effort unless it is really abhorrent. I am being practical: I know myself well enough to know that the gremlin of perfectionism lurks in the shadows, waiting for a chance to trip me up and leave me paralyzed in inaction should I start to get all fussy. I also believe mishaps often hold the greater insights which reveal their lessons over time.

Okay, much ado about nothing.

i tried using vaseline as a mask over the figure and then stamped butterfly wings onto the card. the wings didn't show up like i had wanted, so then i used a mehndi stencil for larger wings. still not thrilled.

It is probably obvious the theme of Spring would continue into this series. One figure new to me is that of Butterfly Maiden. I draw this card fairly often when pulling Goddess cards. Having recently finished Snake, I found it interesting to consider the meaning of transformation from a different angle. Whereas Snake medicine for me is about letting go of what no longer serves me, Butterfly medicine and Butterfly Maiden seem to offer me lessons in learning how to open myself up and welcome change. I read somewhere how this goddess affords us the opportunity to understand the process of evolution within our lives. This perspective is in alignment with my spiritual beliefs and growing understanding of myself and my journey. I do believe we are born with certain lessons to learn, tasks to fulfill - or not. There is a choice. But it seems to me growth, understanding, happiness and fulfillment are found when I move through challenges and see obstacles as opportunities to expand and develop personally and spiritually.

unhappy with the results, i resorted to a somewhat obsessive dot process (a cross between Seurat and Lichtenstein's Ben-Day dots?)

An obvious inclusion in this series is Hawk. I had been putting this card off as Hawk such an important totem in my life, I wasn't sure how I would create a card that represented Hawk's significance. Hawk's medicine is the gift of clear sight, patience, knowing when to take action and a heightened awareness to messages and signs. Hawk is about strengthening intuition and strengthening decisive action. Go figure I was indecisive in knowing how to portray this powerful teacher!

In my life, Hawk has both circled and hovered over head; sat watching me from roof tops, tree branches, light post and poles; has crashed into my dining room window; and continues to leave me feathers like bread crumbs affirming my progress upon my path. I attempted to transfer an image of a hawk's feather to the card, painting the silhouette of hawk in flight behind it. I tried a masking fluid which pulled off more paint than I had intended. I may return to this card, but for now I am heeding Hawk's example of patience and conservation of energy.

my favorite so far: a Sarah Ahearn-inspired collage technique (seriously, her book is really revving my creative engine)

My newest friend and ally has been Robin. Of course, robins are the quintessential harbinger of Spring and this season the only thing keeping me going through the icy rain and gray mornings has been the sight and sound of this plucky bird. Robin represents new beginnings, new growth but with a sense of joy, laughter and song as we move through the transition. On a personal level, Robin has shown me lessons in determination and patience. Every year we battle the robins who wish to make their nest on our front porch. While I love the idea of robins finding our home a suitable place to entrust their eggs, the reality of robin poo and robin attacks is not so romantic. So we remove their nests and as fast as we take them down, equally fast a new one appears.








While robins may appear common and ordinary, their message is anything but. They mark their territory by their song and teach us to claim our place by using our unique voice. I actually found a tiny feather from a robin's red breast and I wear it in my medicine pouch - the red breast of robin aligning it with spiritual passion and dedication. Perhaps their persistence and dedication in nest building and worm seeking a reminder of the skills essential for us on a creative and spiritual path.

Speaking of determination, this blog post has taken me far too long to compose and I have another project waiting for me this afternoon: dandelion honey. It may be raining outside, but it will be sweet in my kitchen.

Monday Inspiration Celebration: Gratitude

Acknowledging abundance (Aparigraha), we recognized the blessings in everything and gain insights into the purpose for our worldly existence. (Nischala Joy Devi, interpretation of Sutra II:39 from Patanjali's Yoga Sutras)

I am sitting here sipping a well deserved hot chocolate: it has a long day ... it is 46 degrees outside, the weather forecast for the week ahead is rainy and cold and I just spent 20 minutes listening to Chinese zither music with Cowgirl as a wind down from a marathon evening (the girl loves her zither music ... it is bizarre ... but she also loves greasy chicken skin - not the chicken mind you, but oh my, that crispy skin! So there you have it.) I ran around after work trying to find items for the bag lunch Cowgirl required for a school field trip to a farm tomorrow (everything had to be disposable) only to discover the trip has been canceled because of the rainy forecast. I tried a new recipe for dinner - a spin on shepherd's pie only all vegetarian. Meaning: lots and lots and lots of chopping, steaming, boiling, baking for a ten minute meal choked - oh yeah, choked - down and then an equally arduous time cleaning up. Then on to bath time, bed time and the zither music.

And that was the good part of my day!

Actually, my day took a turn when I was walking the dog and noticed a small package was on the front porch. Did I order something from Etsy while under the influence of Wal-itin (my Walgreen's knock off of Claritin)? Immediately glancing at the return address my heart skipped a beat - " A Secret Admirer"?

Imagine my surprise when I discovered this inside:







Ah ... I know that lotus flower ... I know that handwriting ... I know I am in for a very, very special treat and dear Kristen, you did not disappoint!

Family Tree by Kristen Walker

I am not exaggerating ... this unexpected gift revived my flagging spirits, it reminded me that goodness and abundance and love are the foundation of this Universe, and that giving and sharing and receiving are our natural tendencies. And now I marvel at what was my reading for this day "The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." (Mark Twain)

This one act of generosity set my mind turning towards all the other gifts of inspiration that have been washing my way. Sarah Ahearn Bellemare's new book Painted Pages arrived over the weekend and I am in heaven! I love how she explains her process; the influence of poetry and photography in her mixed media pieces; and how she uses her sketchbook as a both a record of her creative process and as a tool to collect and hold ideas, thoughts, and insights. It is both a visual diary and a creative laboratory and I am excited to dig into the process.

I immediately pulled out my book of Pablo Neruda's "Odes to Common Things" and spent a lovely few hours yesterday making this piece as a thank you to an unsuspecting new friend:









I am also grateful for the steady arrival of art postcards spicing up my trips to the mailbox. So far I have received 8 out of 10 cards from ihanna's international swap.









It has been lovely connecting with new artists through their cards, via email thank-yous and checking out their blogs. So far I have receive cards from Finland, Sweden, Norway, England, Argentina and the U.S. I love the pull out message in this card:

art postcard by SNARLing

And of course, this one really spoke to me

art card by Laura Varela

I am a lover of noses :)






All of this reminds me that whenever I am feeling a bit weary, the best medicine is to stop whining, stop wringing my hands, just stop and look around. Abundance quietly awaits my attention and it is pretty awesome and often colorful, creative stuff.

And the insight into my purpose? I'm not certain, but I am pretty sure Joy is heavily involved. I mean, if happiness is a warm puppy, joy is a wet nose.

And now my cocoa is cold ... but warm is my heart with all these lovely wishes surrounding me.

Mission: Joy

I participated in iHanna's art postcard swap and thought I would share a couple of new techniques I recently learned and now love.

For the swap we were to make 10 cards. My normal way of going about things would be to make 10 different cards, totally stressing over the deadline and struggling at the end to come up with one more idea. Well. This girl is getting a little smarter. I decided to make all ten cards the same basic design and just play with color ... allowing the restrictions to push me to experiment more.

So here are the steps. (And I am also proud of myself for thinking to document the process ... although it isn't complicated at all and the color is pretty sickly in these photos.)

I used masking tape ripped into small pieces to cover the surface of a postcard. I first masked all the edges and then filled in the center.






Using a dry brush, I applied a thick coat of acrylic paint over the masking tape and let it dry.






I then added a second color and used a baby wipe (or paper towel) to smear and blot up the paint to reveal the color beneath.






Here's where it got fun! I had ordered some mehndi stencils online and decided to use the hand one. I followed this video for tips. (I trimmed a cheap kids brush so as to have a flat, thick brush to "tamp" the paint over the stencil.) The brush has to be dry, so I divided my cards up and picked one color to use on 3 or 4 of them, knowing I would have to wait awhile after cleaning my brush and stencil before I could tackle another batch.






Once dry, I used water soluble oil pastels to accent the edges and used stamps dipped in acrylic paint for the letter and small flower in the center of the palms. On the back of each card, I glued information about Joy Warriors, a picture of me and Cowgirl and this website. Now my cards and invitations to join Mission:Joy are traveling to recipients all over the world! Half of my cards went to Europe and Canada.

I think this may become the official Joy Warrior logo (or some version of it) ... what do you
think?






And yes, I am just realizing the theme of hands continues ...