for the ♥ of horses

Can you feel it? Spring IS coming! I can see tender green shoots shaking off the sleep of winter and pushing up through moist soil towards warm, sunny skies. I too find myself slipping outdoors, sitting on the stoop and turning my face towards the warmth, towards the promise of hope and growth.  

Winter has been an emotional and physical grind. For me anyway. But the gift of challenging times is discovering what truly supports me and leaning fully into it.  Community. Yoga and meditation practice. Music. My sketchbook practice.

And the horses. 

These past few weeks I have committed myself to painting portraits of some of my favorite horses in the Hetra herd: the very first horses I worked with as a sidewalker, Charm (pictured above) and Smokey (shown hanging with his buddy, Red);

the Dude of the herd (and last year's Horse of the Year) Waldo;

and the youngest (and wildest) member, Tenneson (with another herd newbie, Georgie on the right.)

Drawing and then painting each horse has allowed me to perceive the differences in  breeds but also in the wide array of personalities. After completing a portrait, I return to the Hetra barn with renewed appreciation for the contribution of these amazing creatures to the healing process for all involved in the therapy sessions. Yes, the riders are the clients served by all, but all - sidewalkers, horse leaders, therapists, client family members -  are impacted by the spirit of the horse working in the session. 

To date I have painted close to half the Hetra Herd. (If you follow me on Instagram, I have been posting images there.)  As part of the Horse Penny Race (a yearly event focused upon raising funds to support the exceptional care of these hardworking therapy horses) I have created a set of 11 postcards depicting 10 of the Hetra Horses (one card is a horse image I created before this project started.) All proceeds (after printing and shipping expenses) will be donated to the Hetra Horse Penny Race.

I hope you consider supporting these amazing creatures by purchasing a set of cards (cost includes shipping.)  Quantities are limited, so get 'em while they are fresh off the press!

Thank you for all your support!  Over $400 was raised through the sale of these postcards - Way to go!
My plan is to complete all 22 of the current herd (including the mini horses) sometime this Spring.  I am not sure if I will create more postcards, but then again seeing the entire herd spread out upon my table may be more than I can resist :)

circles of support

Like a jar you housed infinite tenderness

And the infinite tenderness shattered you like a jar

- Pablo Neruda

You would think given my silence here, I have little to say.

Well.

It seems my words (along with images and miscellanea of my days) are filling a growing assortment of notebooks and journals. It actually has become a bit of a job keeping things in some semblance of order ...

It strikes me that my many notebooks are like jars housing the various collections that comprise my ever-increasing curiosity which is the strength and the vulnerability of a multi-passionate creative.  

Or the makings of a looney bird. But I've always admired the eccentric, the independent minded, the cackling and colorful crone making her own damned way thank-you-very-much!

My little neighborhood has been rocked by devastating news. Neighbors on an exotic vacation were in a terrible accident. They won't be coming home. I look out my front window and I see their dog being walked by their adult children and my knees buckle.

They won't be coming home. 

It's not like we need any reminders that life is incredibly short and unpredictable. But we do ... I know I fall into the trance ... that I will have second chances, that I will continue to have options, that I will skirt accidents and disasters along with illness and traffic jams. When the veil drops and life comes crashing in I realize how grateful I am for the many circles of support I've gathered about me. My spiritual practice. My family. My friends. My notebooks filled with reminders of why I choose to live life with an open heart, even though doing so leaves me vulnerable to the pain of loss and grief.

I am grateful to be part of many circles of women choosing to come together to hold space for each other. My own local circle met this past weekend and in the spirit of Spring we each shared what the circle has been for us in the past and what seeds we want to plant for our future. 

what remains after circle ... tea leaves and heart wisdom

I look at my girl and I want for her to know how it feels to sit in circle and to have her experiences witnessed and valued. To be seen in such a manner is powerful beyond words. When I was waiting for our adoption referral, I attended a prenatal yoga training program. At the end of our weekend the instructor invited all of the pregnant women to move to the center of our circle for a blessing. Not being pregnant in the traditional sense of the word, I stayed on the outside of the circle. Afterwards, I shared with another in the training my hurt over being excluded. That I could have gotten up and moved to the center, only occurred to me after the fact. My reaction was fueled by my own exclusion, my own lack of imagination to claim what I wanted.

Thankfully, that woman spoke to the instructor and it turned out a group of us traveled to the airport together. There I was invited to the tiny meditation chapel where this intimate group circled around me and blessed me and my future child with chants of love and blessing. 

I am looking at this book as a possible starting point for a mother/daughter circle.  It is a seedling of an idea ... And until it happens, I make sure when my circle meets at my home to invite my daughter over to say hi. These women - who are my dear friends -  are like her aunties. That she knows she is seen and welcomed and love by each of these women is such good medicine. For my heart and hers.

So I circle back to what supports and sustains me. My creative practice.

My spiritual practice. Family time. Nature.

And circles created by loving hearts and arms. 

I am finding deep support and inspiration through Fierce Grace Collective and Painted Pages Workshop. If you want a good hour or so of inspiration, if you want to be stirred by the question "How can I stretch myself to live fully with purpose, with heart?" then watch this and be ready to link arms.  

grounding (spring fever & link love)

It's like a switch was flipped and suddenly, it feels like Spring is goosing Winter to get out of the way. Temperatures shifted from single digits to mid-sixties in days and right now strong winds put me in mind of Van Gogh's mistral or "the devil" as he referred to it and its challenges to his working outside. (He resorted to  lashing his easel down: "My easel was fixed in the ground with iron pegs, a method that I recommend to you. You shove the feet of the easel in and then you push a 50-centimeter-long iron peg in beside them. You tie everything together with ropes; that way you can work in the wind.")

In addition to the winds disrupting everything and everyone (I was awoken in the middle of the night by the rattling and blowing) there is the matter of mud. Everywhere.

So besides finding it difficult to think or focus  it is also impossible to move!  

This is the time of year (any period of transition is tricky) when I lean into practice to help carry me forward. I've been neglecting this space because I am consumed by another. Year after year I seem to forget that running an online offering is hard work. I have to show up daily, pay attention to what is happening, think and write. But it is the very best way for me to get unstuck. 

Taking action, applying effort and exercising discipline ... it is what the Yogis call Tapas which translates as"heat" or "fiery disciplines that burn away impurities."  Tapas is balanced by introspection and surrender ... applying that discipline towards self understanding, development and growth.

My discipline these days centers upon study. Or rather, curiosity. (If you haven't watch it yet, this talk by Elizabeth Gilbert on living a life driven by curiosity speaks to the multi-passionate soul.)  My focus this year is upon learning new techniques and  ways of working with favorite mediums (watercolors, drawing, pen and ink, mixed media) which afford me a broader creative vocabulary. I am loving these online courses:

 Scribble Art which is way harder than it sounds! I have a long way to go in terms of really working with shading and creating a wider range of values using the scribble to express volume and the sense of an object in space. Being loose and making meaningful marks takes loads of practice.

Then there is this course on watercolor and mixed media called Creative Girl: Land of Light and Shadows.  

I am eyeballing a few more (but not until I finish what I have started!) including Reflections: An Art Journaling Workshop  (this bit caught my eye:
"unraveling your own story and creating authentic art that only you can tell") and All Creatures Small and Lovely (hello? Watercolor AND animals?!)

Not that I am lacking in things to keep my head and heart busy. There is a pile of books by my bedside. Currently immersed in Dreaming the Eagle by Manda Scott, the first book in her trilogy on the Celtic Warrior Queen Boudica.  The Tao of Equus: A Woman's Journey of Healing and Transformation through the Way of the Horse was recommended to me by several wise friends. And then I won this new title The Other Side of the River by Eila Carrico which I've started and realize is a book to be slowly savored and enjoyed. 

Oh, and then there is this fun and insightful course on developing a personal approach towards working with and interpreting the Tarot ... which had me adding to my Tarot collection with these lovely cards (The Anna K Tarot)

It seems staying stuck may not be in the cards for me ... as long as I find my footing with all this creative study and keep moving forward in practice. Action grounded by consistency and regularity is what supports and anchors me when both the winds and the mud threaten to upend me.

  
Meanwhile, fundraising for the therapy horses of Hetra.org continues. To date, my creative communities both online and at home have rallied in support and close to $800 has been raised for Team Star.  It is pimping I do willingly as the horses deserve every dollar, every oat for the incredible work they do week in and week out.

 

daily devotional

Ah, it's ten a.m. on a frigid Friday morning, but I am happily tucking into my second breakfast of the day. (Which makes me sound rather like a Hobbit ... but my seconds is a raisin muffin with blueberry/honey jam & a fresh cup of spiced chai; first breakfast was the leftovers of Cowgirl's oatmeal fortified with bits of apple that didn't fit into her lunch box and some yogurt, consumed hours ago) I have no agenda for this day; instead there are many activities that fall under the happy category Things I Want to Do. 

This is how Winter is for me: slowly exercising my creative muscles (a little writing, a little knitting, a schmidge of sewing, and a splurge of drawing), feeding my spiritual practice while keeping curiosity alive and growing through new pursuits. Ever the apprentice, I am slowly understanding how this is my way ... step, step, stop, spiral down and in, spiral up and out, stop, step, step ...

A long time ago I had a flash of understanding that rather than coercing my creativity into supporting me, I was to meant to support it. So reading Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic ("a good bathroom book" one friend called it; yes, well some of my happiest moments happen in that solitary space of the home communal) I was pumping my fist in the air when I read the following: 

I never wanted to burden my writing with the responsibility of paying for my life ... I've seen artists drive themselves broke and crazy because of this instance that they are not legitimate creators unless they can exclusively live off their creativity. And when their creativity fails them (meaning: it doesn't pay the rent), they descend into resentment, anxiety, or even bankruptcy. Worst of all, they often quit creating at all.

 (Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear )

To this I would add: not asking my creativity to support me doesn't mean I am choosing the path of meekness; that I am giving up on my dreams or failing to live life fearlessly. There is this notion, pervasive as the smog haze of Los Angeles, that Bigness - or fully exploring and embracing one's potential = career. I believe everything I do I can infuse with Love but I don't have to necessarily love -wildly, passionately, open and intimately - all that I do. 

Or more precisely ... if I am not fully in love with my work, that doesn't mean I failed - myself, my potential, my Bigness -  or that I've given up on living a life infused by passion. I call bullshit on all of that. My life - and by extension, my value -  is not defined solely by what I am paid. It just means I've prioritized things according to what matters to me. 

I value curiosity, I value play, I value ... devotion. All of which I know, for me, cannot be associated with a paycheck. Now, some will argue that I am cutting myself off here, that I am placing energetic roadblocks in the way of making money off of my art. Perhaps. But I know myself, I know I have sticky places with money that maybe I will fully resolve one day but for now, well, this girl just wants to have fun. And fun (and play and devotion) take me into a place of deep engagement that is soul-nourishing for me in ways that a bundle of money cannot come close to equaling. For me, my creative freedom does not have a price tag.

Each day what I seek is to live my life from a place of devotion. How can I show my devotion, my affection for creative play? My actions are the prayers that open up a channel of communication with That-Something-Or-Someone-Greater. There is where I taste, touch, and know my Bigness. Which isn't really mine as much as I am a part of It. 

You might spend your whole life following your curiosity and have absolutely nothing to show for it at the end - except one thing. You will have the satisfaction of knowing that you passed your entire existence in devotion to the noble human virtue of inquisitiveness. And that should be more than enough for anyone to say that they lived a rich and splendid life.

(from Big Magic)

My tea is cold ... my day spreads out before me ... time for some devotional play. 

my first two cards in my Air Alchemy deck; my third deck created through Mindy Tsonas's offering Inner Alchemy Cards

Splendid, indeed!

This week marks the beginning of a blog-hop through the teachers of 2016 Spectrum: Holistic Creativity Workshops. Each day there will be two blogs offering a seat for the new Spectrum offering - that's 30 chances to win! Visit here for the all the details and links. I will be sharing more in a week's time.  

calm and bright

Eek! So it has been a longer lapse than I had realized. Ahem. I blame it on the holidays and my tendency to find inspiration for the perfect gifts that I want to make in the dwindling days before the celebrations kick in. I thrive best with deadlines.

So in addition to my purported commitment to thriving in the holidays I should add to that generating and creating. Wow. I discovered the joys of repurposing sweaters into wonky hats, adding the most stylish of adornments, le pompom, to each. I stitched up eight hats in a handful of days (easily can whip out 3 of these babies in an afternoon session) alongside some homemade concoctions for the skin ... yummy sugar & coconut oil body scrubs with essential oils blend of citrus and mint. Festive AND smooth, that's what my feet say.

In this midst of all this crafting, I had my table easel set up (nothing like adding tubs of paints, piles of brushes, and mounds of paint rags to the festive home decorations) and I whipped out in three days two new Ganesha paintings for a holiday bazaar.  Yeah. My crazy. I don't thrive on this much pressure, but in an effort to walk my talk I donned my big girl panties and fired off an email to my friend who was hosting the bazaar. Putting my work out there is not business as usual for me, but another dear friend pointed out to me the lack of easy access to my work. "Where is the path to your paintings?" she asked and I had to admit, I don't help myself or my art by keeping things hidden away in my home. 

So I inquired whether there was room for my work in the show ... but here's where I back pedaled: I tossed into the mix a "if not now, perhaps in the future ... maybe something with Ganesha?" Of course the response was I would love some of your Ganeshas for the show!  Which meant I had to create some!

So it has been crazy around here but in a good way. The holiday bazaar was loads of fun and I made some wonderful connections, I have a few inquiries for pieces and I have more ideas for future ventures and ways to get my work in the world. It is never comfortable or easy promoting myself, but I am learning that no one will come in if I keep the door closed, locked and the front lights off.  And more importantly, I need to keep the pathway clear to that door so others can easily pop on by.

Now things are quiet ... I've begun my holiday baking ... presents are starting to appear under the tree ... the Husband and the Girl are amusing themselves in a game ... Moose Dog rests with visions of chew bones and liver treats dancing in his head ... after I finish my cup of chai I'm off to the living room and some knitting before the fire ... winding down and resting in this season of rest and renewal. Seeds dreaming in the dark is how one friend referred to this period of time and truly, it is a time to keep dreaming, keep an eye attuned to the light, the magic, the gifts and the hope of Light and Love.

And there will be more of this in the coming year ...

Happy Holidays to you and yours. xo

a quiet obsession ...

Sometimes in all the clutter and chaos (hello? are there no holiday wreaths available? Am I that behind?! And how much can I really knit/sew/bake/make in less than two weeks time? Things that could, but don't, keep me up at night. Not yet  ...) comes flashes of clarity ...

The above was painted two years ago and has been quietly working a spell upon me. For in the following year and a half, all of this has been slowly (and steadily) emerging ...

And while I continue to paint dogs (one pooch is currently in progress on my easel) look who has also been herding into my art ...

And I realize I am soo good at distracting myself, wandering off course while thinking I know my way ... and then there is this moment of realization ... that the way has been consistently presenting itself to me. My secret, unspoken desire has made itself clear to me, finally. It is time to give it my full attention.

Back to the easel for me ... painting on a deadline (amazing, I can actually call up and ask if my work is wanted for a show and wow! Yes happens!) 

What whispers are you ready to heed? What is asking to come into light or life? What steps can you take to show up for its birth?

Giddy up!  xo 

(in gratitude for friends who ask me "What would it look like to have a studio filled with your art?" and who remind me to allow my work the opportunity to stand in its own light. You know who you are and I love you for being such a brilliant mirror for me.)

thriving the holiday season

I was recently chatting with a wise friend of mine and we were bemoaning the challenges of the upcoming season. She pointed out how this is the time of year seasonally when we should be slowing down, resting, going within, nurturing ourselves in order to weather the coming winter months. Yet the holidays are anything but restful! Already Christmas music is playing on the radio and my neighborhood is ablaze with holiday lights. I take it as a sign of my success that upon seeing the latest lawn vignette of the 3 Wise Men (complete with cardboard camels) Cowgirl bemoans "We still have Thanksgiving People!" Oh yes, she is her father's daughter.

It is hard for me to balance my natural hermit nature (I am my mother's daughter) with the pressures that the holidays bring. Going out, gathering in large groups, feasting and celebrating ...  oh, I love all of that ... just in small and managed doses ... and that being on my good days, say days long with abundant sunshine. But right now? With the days short and the nights long and cold?  

So how to survive thrive in this season that demands plenty?  If ever there is a time for best practices to be implemented, it is now.  Here is my spin on making a list and checking it twice ... 

#1 Build into the day structured down time. It is law in this house that before bed, we read. As Cowgirl's bedtime is a few hours before mine, I have the opportunity to double the pleasure as I join her upstairs, in the big bed for a half hour of reading and snuggling before tucking her into her bed. And yes, often times I go back to the big bed, read for another half hour and slip into the land of Nod. Getting enough rest is essential for me physically and emotionally. My batteries need the frequent and lengthy recharge.

Both Cowgirl and I are in love with the Terry Pratchett books that chronicle the adventures of Tiffany Aching and the pictsies (or Wee Free Men) who assist her. Tiffany is The Best and most inspiring role model for myself and my girl. 

"This is the school, isn't it? The magic place? The world. Here. And you don't realize it until you look. Do you know the pictsies think this world is heaven? We just don't look. You can't give lessons on witchcraft. Not properly. It's all about how you are ... you, I suppose." (Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men)

#2 Mindful scheduling. I love my phone calendar but I still need a wall calendar. I need to be able, in a glance, to see how much white space there is in my week. If I see writing in those squares, I know not to add more. I've learned to accept I am an extroverted introvert: I enjoy being around people, but I need loads of recovery time. When I don't honor this about myself, I am not being kind to myself and I cannot be fully present and kind to the people I am with, especially my family. Cowgirl knows when I say out loud "I am feeling grumpy" her best move is to skedaddle and allow me space and time to collect myself.

#3 Hands on/mind off activity. Every day. Creativity is my form of meditation; it is how I empty out and how I check in with the inner chatter. I cannot and am mindful not to multitask so for me, knitting (or sewing or painting or sketching) is usually done in silence or with calm music playing. There is nothing more grounding for me than a good hour by the fire, a cup of tea by my side and my knitting to help me settle in. All the energy of the day pools away and I am always left refreshed and restored by a session of creative play. 

 
#4 Essential oils. The past few months I have been consciously working with certified pure oils. These are oils I know to be safe for my use and for my family's use. I have been slowly incorporating oils into my every day routines and introducing Cowgirl and The Husband to the benefits of essential oils in supporting natural immune function and wellness. My favorite tool is adding a drop of lemon or wild orange essential oil to my drinking water. Not only does the water taste yummy, the smell is uplifting and energizing and the oils beneficial in supporting healthy respiration and/or immune function. Now I have Cowgirl asking me to rub oils on her feet before bedtime and we love lavender and a calming blend to assist us in winding down after a busy day. 
{If you want to know more about using essential oils or the oils I prefer to use, please contact me  - lishofmann88(at)gmail(dot)com - and I would be happy to answer your questions or share more information!}

#5 Get outside. Even though the temperature has dropped significantly, I am still grateful to Moose dog for the incentive to head outside on a daily basis. When I walk him at night, I like to look up at the night sky and remember that I am a part of the vastness. There is nothing more nourishing for me than to fill up the spaciousness of nature: to pause and soak up the sound of trees dancing in the wind, the wild geese flying overhead or the sensation of sunlight or moonlight or starlight upon the skin. 

The world rests in the night. Trees, mountains, fields, and faces are released from the prison of shape and the burden of exposure. Each thing creeps back into its own nature within the shelter of the dark. Darkness is the ancient womb. Nighttime is womb- time. Our souls come out to play. The darkness absolves everything; the struggle for identity and impression falls away. We rest in the night.

(John O'Donohue, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom)

It is easy for me to get overwhelmed and depleted this time of year, so hauling out my wellness tool kit and reminding myself of best practices is one way I can ensure that rather than merely surviving the holiday season, I actually thrive ... and stay healthy, strong and sane to boot!

{I am a veteran of many online courses and I have to say, this season I've kept my course load lite and am slowly working through and enjoying Scribble Art over on Jeanne Oliver's Creative Network ning site.}