Thursday, September 8, 2011

Quiet space

In the past week I've dropped several dishes but only shattered one; was an hour off for an appointment and spaced off another; taught Cowgirl a "new" and "funny" word (it rhymes with duck and apparently was shouted when the above mentioned plate was broken); broke down crying in front of another mom at martial arts class (and the next time I saw her - before she could ask me how I was - I asked her "how do you spell cuckoo?"); shifted through my mother's underwear drawer, refrigerator, filing cabinet AND cracked open her previously un-openable safe.

Thankfully this week in SouLodge we are to be sitting in the North - the place of stillness, reflection, integration and celebration for the wisdom gained in working the Medicine wheel. This place reminds me of savasana or relaxation pose which is the final pose of any asana practice. Often the one pose students want to skip is that final period of rest and integration. After a vigorous practice the act of nondoing is challenging - they are ready to move on to the next task. What I understand for myself is the deep need to integrate into my day this period of time to just be still. In my tradition of Kripalu yoga we often say it is like the snow globe: you shake things up and then you sit and watch the snow settle.

If you shook me up I'm certain dozens of scraps of paper would come flying out of every nook and cranny ... I am nothing more than a vessel for all the accumulating "to remember" lists. My calendar is like a pink flamingo there are so many post-it notes attached to it. The first few moments of sitting still and all I am aware of is the spinning of my thoughts like a mouse frantically running in its wheel, trying to go somewhere and getting nowhere.

But the medicine wheel reminds me that in any given period or cycle there must be this space of quiet and calm. A place to re-balance, integrate, regroup and also a place to acknowledge the work that we've done. Living this life as a Joy Warrior I seek out those flashes of magic and inspiration in my day, but their beauty exists in relationship to the heaviness, the darkness and the challenges that also rise up to meet me. It is necessary to also acknowledge the difficulties, the suffering, the heartache and to give myself the space to sit with it all. To hopefully touch upon compassion not only for myself and all that I must do, but come to understand in a heartfelt way that which everyone juggles within their heart soul in any given day. To touch the sadness, the feelings of overwhelm and by honoring them, let them go.

Every morning I make my way to my yoga room to meditate. This room is the place where I touch upon the quiet space inside myself. I then try to carry that space with me ...

Hopefully remembering throughout my crazy day to pause and rest there again, as needed.

My quiet place is when I remember to be present for all that moves through me. My guru waits for me every morning and takes me out for a mindful morning stroll. This routine is my touchstone ...

and a wagging tail reminds me of all that I need to carry within myself - a light and open heart.


  1. What a beautiful post today . . . I loved reading your words. Oh how wonderful it would be to enter your yoga room with you and practice together! I hope things are going better for you, I wish you joy and peace this week. You are beautiful to me and I am so glad that we have connected in this space!
    Donna :)

  2. Beautiful - thank you - I agree - the wagging tail means so much about appreciation. Lovely.

  3. Daer Lis-what a beautifully written full of deep sorrow, heartache, pain...and yet still the awarness of light and joy. My heart is with you as you naviagte these difficult is a time of deep deep growth; this letting go of + embracing all at once. My heart goes out to you...I hope you are surrounded by light and love. xxx