i love this woman!

I think I'm well on my way, but I still have work to do:





Is she not a kick in the proverbial creative pants?  I want to grab my ukulele and play along ... after I've wrestled with the three paintings who have a few hundred tricks still to teach me.  I think I can strong-arm them into revealing their secrets ...


Except I can't right now.  Besides sitting and pulling my hair out  -


no, really I do that whenever the pressure of ideas within me is unable to find suitable release. I had a nice bald patch after writing my master's thesis but I digress ...


No, there is the inconvenient obligation in my life, also known as my job ...


And I know you all see the writing on the wall, but my mind only sees hieroglyphs and cuneiform which are beyond my willingness to decipher never mind accept.


So I turn to my stand-by practice of sitting (on my hands; to keep them out of my hair) and breathing and checking in with the wiser part of myself which is my body and when I feel calm and present I drop this question into the field of my awareness:


What is true for me right now?  


I don't want to be at my desk, pretending to work ...


I want to be home making messes
grabbing for a cup of cold coffee when I hit that first creative snag
surprised to find the dog sleeping peaceably at my feet while I thrash about
wreckage of tubes and crayons and pencils, open books and journals, scraps of paper 
the crime scene of my inspiration
that damned clock at long last halted as I descend into
what?
chaos? madness? rapture?
the paradoxical meditative state
myself gliding forward upon the vast lake of 
just being 
me
at home
awake
welcoming gods and demons
to my dining room table of art






I am this { } close to either a break down, or a break through.


In the words of the Beastie Boys (r.i.p. MCA)  no time like the present to work shit out


Right now, this sustains me:





Thank you Lynn Whipple.  I don't know you, but you are either my angel or a temptress. Either way, I'm headed down the trail, destination uncertain. 


Be sure to tune in next time to see how our heroine fares in this perilous situation ...