Monday, May 5, 2014

for the record (revenge of a nerd)

I'm here to set the record straight ... and while I love this woman, a rebuttal is required. Yes, yes, she is a writer and therefore prone to wild fantasies spun by a robust and creative mind, but this - 

funny story:  when i first discovered Lisa's blog, i was awe-struck. as far as i was concerned, she was a Famous Internet Person (she still is). 

i thought she was/is one of the Cool Kids...

 This tall tale needs to be brought down to earth.

Dear friends, dear visitor/reader/scanner o'blogs I am not, nor have I ever been in the category of cool. 

Not that I didn't aspire to cool-ness.  I have collected a vast array of once-cool accoutrements: I had the platform sandals (worn with rainbow striped socks), tie-dye denims, the extra piercing in one ear (I never mastered the art of an odd number of earrings), a now faded and blurred tattoo, over-sized Ray bans (not good for a narrow face), track suit (it was lime green), big hair (hey, I am from Jersey, it was required!), leg warmers, harem pants (by default banning one for life from any cool-dom) and of course the flash dance ripped sweatshirts (to my credit, I never wore a head band.)

Which is to say, I discovered (after many failed attempts) that clothes do not cool make. 

I suppose by ceasing and desisting in my efforts, by discovering I could only be me - whatever that may involve - I may have gained a modicum of cool.  All those other cool-trappings, they weren't comfortable, they felt false, they never made me feel like I fit in.  It was when I stopped trying to be someone I wasn't, when I decided to embrace who I am and see my struggle to belong as an opportunity to accept and love myself, then cool became irrelevant. 

Well, sort of.

Make no mistake, it is an on-going practice.

I mean, we all aspire to be recognized, appreciated, and to feel welcomed by the pack.  I ask my girl if she thinks it is important to be cool.  "No ..." she replied. "It's better to be yourself."

may she always remember to be herself; here she is with her design for a mini-Boden catalog ... I know, too cool for school

Which means ALL my friends - and myself most of the time - are inherently and without exception, cool.  So I am confused ... I guess I am retracting my rebuttal? 

And because it is looping around my brain and feels like the right vibe to wind things up: 

It's all too much for me to take
The love that's shining all around here
All the world is birthday cake
So take a piece but not too much ...

(the one immensely cool thing that happen to me as a kid: my babysitter, Martha Mack, took me to the movie theater to see Yellow Submarine)

To borrow from another song ... if you can't be with the one you love honey, love the one you're with ...


  1. yes, 'cool' is so narrowly defined. if we ignore the exterior we find so many many more cool people around us. true cool is a mindset. you are definitely one of the cool kids.

  2. I am wearing a completely goofy, uncooll, unhip, hey its me though which is just fine I suppose, grin across my face.

    I've been stalking your facebook page today (as you can probably tell from all the likes!) and am so grateful I popped over to read this entry. Love it!! Your little one is so grown up now! It goes so quickly!

  3. I adore this post!! And that bottom picture -- shows a sweet young girl grown into a confident, dare I say cool, woman! Nice to have found you...