It started in the usual way ...
With lots of road to cover ...
The usual amount of detours, road construction and rain ...
I arrived at the Makerie Retreat in Boulder, Colorado ready to let go and let the paint flow in Flora Bowley's Bloom True 2-day painting workshop.
Over the course of those two days I tumbled, tussled, tangoed and finally submitted to the whispers of forms awaiting arrival, feelings and expression demanding colorful presence upon my canvas's stage.
We moved between two paintings the entire weekend and it was exhilarating and exhausting to be so attentive to both painting's demands. We painted layer upon layer upon layer and I felt myself pushed to delve deeper and deeper within myself and within the paintings.
I was grateful for my yoga training which has mentored me in the practice of riding a wave of experience and watching for that moment when I tend to want to jump off and out of the process. What I discovered this weekend was my habit of settling; that I have often times believed myself to be content with riding the smaller waves, maintaining that those little ripples are satisfying and more than enough for me and my life.
I am now entertaining more dangerous thoughts, one of which being I am content no more to play it so safe, to stay on the inside edge of the forest in sunlight, comfort, gentle breezes and birdsong. I stepped into the wild, the dark, the unknown this past weekend and while I was often frustrated and more often perplexed and confused as to where to go next, I do know I no longer want to settle for the easy and the known.
More is brewing within me ... fox traveled with me these many miles and I am anxious to follow her back into the brush, my whiskers twitching, tail swishing, eager for more. And more. And more.
The 8+ hour drive home was not enough time for me to even begin to resolve what is shifting within my thoughts, nor can I begin to bring into focus this expanded sense myself and who I am and how it is I want to grow.
I just know I am grateful to Flora for the windows she has opened within me.
Her work, her teaching, her voice are sunlight and Spring rain and fresh breezes inspiring within me a confidence that change is possible, thriving likely and blooming a surprising and unexpected reward for hanging in when the ride gets wild. And the process is chaotic, the outcome uncertain but the possibilities beyond my imagining.
I believe things are about to become very interesting now that I've returned ...
gloriousness -- {{{Lis}}} so happy for you.
ReplyDeleteLis,
ReplyDeleteApparently it was my turn to be visited by you in my dreams last night! And after reading your post about the dangerous waves, I must share... We were at a retreat which I felt uncomfortable at and chose to leave. But to do so I had to swim back across a cold river. You seemed very anxious for me and did not want me to go, yet understood that I had to. After I jumped in, you jumped in with me and tried to help me. Which is for the best because I am a terrible swimmer! I also received a gift of some braided straw or string from a Rastafarian man on the water's edge that brought me luck, which I promptly lost once I reached the other side and waved goodbye to you. I searched and searched for it, but it was gone. There was something after that about you coming to visit me, but maybe that was just wishful thinking :)
So lovely to see this post today and read about your journey. Flora is such a born teacher! I just love the painting with the dark mysterious birds!
How are your dream interpretation skills? ;)
<3
~Brandi Marie
Oh WOW!! Looking at your photos gave me goosebumps! Powerful magical stuff going on here-
ReplyDeleteI want to allow myself to entertain more dangerous thoughts. I start to feel them then it's like I cut myself off somehow. Thanks for voicing this aspect of your process.And sharing your paintings- Maybe I can see them live in person next month?! :)
Namaste-
Angela
We are so in sync right now.................miss you
ReplyDeleteWhat an incredibly exciting experience. go, Lis, go!
ReplyDeletehow fun
ReplyDeletesuch a gift!
love and light
oooh, this is fabulous. what a journey! love love love the images in your paintings. would love to take one of her workshops. somewhere that requires a passport would be even better.
ReplyDeletegrin.
can't WAIT to see how things get interesting!!
oh the fabulousness that is you!
ReplyDeletehere's to the dark, the wild and the dangerous....
*sigh*
yes. yes. yes. ((((squeezy hugs))))
xoxoxoxox
To unimagined possibilities. The ecourse had this unexpected reaction in me as well...a culmination of teachings at the moment, all shaping and churning me.
DeleteI have goosebumps for you, and your painty fabulousness.
xx
so envious, i can only imagine what a wonderful experience that must have been. wow
ReplyDelete