"A Day for the Book"

It was a day from a book,

steeped in its own warm juice

heavy with smells of growing ...

-Alastair Reid, "A Day for the Book" from Weathering: Poems & Translations

Such days are a true gift: moments strung together like brightly colored beads, each one intricate and fantastic in detail and completeness. One such moment, like a core memory (thank you Inside Out) a bubble of perfection, but an entire day brimming with golden moments?

I tell you, I could hear the mermaids singing. Okay, it was the cooing of a llama (same thing if you ask me) which is no less magical and heart-stopping.  The day went under the guise of a painting workshop and while I went with no expectations (okay, I had hopes for a Stevie kiss) I was pretty certain at the very least, I would have a lovely time. I mean, I was going to Apifera Farm for the day and to paint on top of that. Surely goodness and love would follow me all the day, right?

I admit, my hopes had wilted just a tad given the predicted 100 degree temperature for the day, although I figured the heat might keep me out of my head and open to experiencing a new way to approach painting. More than anything, I was worried the heat might keep the Misfits sequestered away in cool, dark places and while I was journeying there to paint, it was to paint while in conversation with these spirited animals that drew me half way across the country. 

There is a lovely description of how the day unfolded HERE. In addition to Katherine Dunn, our teacher and guide into the deeper alchemical mysteries of donkey ears, goat kisses, inner stories and paint, there were a total of four of us creating together in the cool of a barn. Katherine's horse, Boone, watched over us for the first part of the morning while Lady Birdie, a dainty llama occasionally peeked in to check our progress. 

our studio/art laboratory for the day

one of Katherine's lesson pages

The gentle and intimate mood of the workshop was established by an opening session with the donkeys where we were invited to drop into silence and to open up inner ears and eyes, allowing the donkeys to guide us into the art of intuitive presence. It was a Mary Oliver poem come alive -  

I don't know exactly what a prayer is.

I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down

into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,

how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,

which is what I have been doing all day.

- Mary Oliver, "The Summer Day"

 

 

Only a poet's words come close to capturing the experience of being welcomed by a herd of diminutive donkeys. While I wished I could have my camera handy to capture the gestures and the details of these soulful creatures, I am grateful Katherine encouraged us to engage directly with the residents of the farm rather than filtering our experience through the lens of a camera or smartphone.  Rather than busying myself with my camera, I was open and receptive to receiving tender nuzzles from donkeys and the kisses of dear Stevie (yes, my expectations were filled!)

I was able to stay alert to the subtler language and gesture of the animals as they initiated us all into the magic that is Apifera Farm.

The morning was a blend of donkey love, art lesson and inspiration, creative play and spirited conversation. Sitting around the table painting, I was reminded of the rich history of women's circles: women coming together to converse while hands are busied stitching, painting, drawing, knitting or sewing. What is crafted is found not only on one's lap, but deep within, as each of us wove our stories into the collective story of meaning, purpose, healing and hope.

It is a privilege to sit with others in a space of trust and respect and even more so when tender seeds of creative exploration are being put down. Watching Katherine paint was both inspiration and confirmation of my own artistic instincts and aspirations. I learned new techniques and skills but more importantly, I was initiated into a way of relaxing into the flow that is at the heart of any intimate conversation whether it be a creative or spiritual one. The trick is to stay present, curious, open and welcoming to whatever presents itself to the mind, the eye, or the subconscious, engaging with it to see where it may lead, but staying relaxed enough to switch partners and dance with a new impulse or idea.

Sounds a lot like communing with the donkeys or goats or horses. 

Original artwork © Katherine Dunn/Apifera Farm

 
Lunch was served in the cool and inspiring space of Katherine's studio. A feast of ripe watermelon, cantaloupe, avocadoes, grapes and crackers that quenched hot and thirsty artists. The only thing juicier and more nourishing was the array of artwork that surrounded us as we continued several lively conversation threads.

all artwork © Katherine Dunn/Apifera Farm

all artwork © Katherine Dunn/Apifera Farm

The afternoon brought more painting and time to wander around and greet the Misfits. Despite the leisurely pace, the day flew by! It was hard to accept the day's end and even harder to contemplate shaking off the fairy dust and reverie that Apifera immerses one in. 

We each walked away with a painted record of our time together, but more than that we collected moments and memories that will nourish us in ways I suspect each of us is slowly discovering. Katherine asked us to put into a word what we felt like upon entering the farm and again, a word (or words) that capture how we felt by the day's end. When I passed through the farm's gate, it wasn't a word or thought that arose so much as a full body sigh, a sense of relief at arriving. By the end of the workshop I felt rooted, grounded, as if I had come home  ... to myself and to the life I am ready to claim and transform. 

Our day captured and translated into this poem piece by a sister painter

 
Indeed, the day had already transformed me! While painting in the barn, I slowly became aware of Boone, Katherine's horse, breathing slowly and steadily into my back as if inflating me to a fuller and more awake version of myself. By the end of the day, I was able to naturally assume the posture of confident and capable artist, sizing up and seizing hold of my world. 

Thank you Katherine and sister painters for the bounty of gifts so lovingly parceled out on this magical summer day. It was a day for the book, a day tenderly folded and tucked away into my heart for safe keeping, a day I will return to again and again to nourish and sustain me whenever I feel my spirits flag. 

What the day offered was space and time to dream, paint, and play. What I believe we all experienced was permission and safety to tune into our hearts and listen for the quiet murmurings of our deeper selves. A sound I believe sounds very much like the trilling coo of a llama ... or perhaps it is the unique voice of this llama, dear Lady Birdie? 

favorite things ...

Last night I was working on post for today ... lots of words ... me chewing over some stringy thoughts ...

Today I am done with thinking ... my reality is just two weeks left of summer vacation and there is only so much time left.  Do I want to be all ponderous and heavy?  Nay ... or should I say "brayyyy"?

Besides whiskers on kittens and wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings, I would add the following to my list of favorite things:

Squeezing in all that I can ... squeezing as hard as I can ... and loving every delicious drop ... it is all delightful and nourishing.

(this is me keeping honest with my Sketch Diary campers ... owning the practice ... responsible to my passion & desire)

hitting the reset button ...

In countering the downward pull of Winter inertia, sometimes the only thing to do is dive right on in ...

2014 Mandala *

It takes discipline and a great deal of clarity to discern where I want to put my energy and what truly restores me (reading one of the many good books stacked by the bedside versus vegging out before the television; creative practice versus facebook chatter) and then implementing routines to support those choices.

Yes, I am putting myself to bed early (thank you dear Mel) which makes so much sense given I am winding down with Cowgirl anyway.  So now I segue from reading with her to reading my book in bed, preferably with a cuppa Sleepy Time by my side.

Then it is up early (again, thank you Mel!) for some meditation/mindfulness practice.  Easing myself into the day with candle light, smudging, and time to listen for the shy, quiet, small voices that speak the essential truths needed to fortify me for the challenges ahead. Enjoying the stillness of the day before the others are up and about.  Taking time to return to my art journals and play which is how I often stumble into the deeper matters that bang about the hallways in my grey matter.  Painting those conversations and clearing space for new ones to enter and educate me.

Don't get me wrong ... I am still set to slowwww motion ...

But finding my way back in, finding my rhythm and making the moves towards new growth, new expansion and fun projects.

Already cast on another knitting adventure (oh, the fun of felting!  You'll have to wait and see!) but a peek at completed pieces ...

My cap is Dustland pattern - super fun and easy

Cowgirl wearing slouchy version of knit hat found in Issue 8 of Taproot Magazine

So yes, change is in the air. Adventure surely will follow ...

And speaking of pigs (didn't you know that's what we are talking about now?) just a couple days left to get your name into the hat and possibly win an autographed copy of Misfits of Love by Katherine Dunn.  And the author has promised to send the winner an art card with artwork from the book!  All the details are here.

No doubt the upswing in my mood is the result of this amazing bundle of Winter Self Care goodies created by the equally talented and amazing Mandy of attualmente.  

I hardly ever win anything (I once won nurse's timer at a work sponsored Holiday party) so this was the mother lode of goodies and given my winter funk, they arrived in the nick of time!  In fact, I am off to enjoy a trifecta of treats: bath bomb, vanilla creme lotion and homemade limoncella.  Buona notte miei amici e buona fortuna!

(* My mandala madness is in preparation for my contribution to  21 Secrets Art Journaling Workshop which will be released April 1, 2014.  It is a a stellar array of artists offering techniques and ideas for creative art journaling and when you sign up, you get all 21 programs in one handy & beautiful eBook to keep and return to forever!  Sign up now for the special pre-sale discount of $89!) 

With a little help from my friends = *Give-away!*

Winter break is over ... we had a one-day extension due to excessive wind chills (as if any of us could forget, it is Winter!) and now it is business as usual.

Well, not exactly.

I find it vexing that the impulse of Winter - slowing down (who's kidding whom? total inertia!), inward focus, deep rest and quiet - contrasts sharply with the energies of a new year and the directive to start anew with projects, programs, regimens for wellness and health.  I know I am struggling over here to emerge out of my cocoon of blankets, sweaters and hot beverages. And while part of me is attempting to embrace (with frozen fingers) this time for reflection, deep listening and receiving of guidance another part of me is crying out for rescue from slothdom.  The mind is willing, but the body heavy and slow to awake.

Such is the time when I draw upon the light and inspiration of friends near and far.  Seeking sparks of life and energy in others words, work, and life examples, slowly slowly slowly I feel the crusty shell of ice and inertia fracturing, my being ever so slowly moving, awakening.  I cannot even begin to name all who lift me up (you may not even know it ... but yes, that dead weight you feel you are dragging just may be me clinging to your back) but I hope you/they know.  

I want to honor and acknowledge one of my litter bearers.  When my creative sparks ebbs, when my faith in the goodness of the world is tested, I turn to the denizens of Apifera farm and their mistress and voice, Katherine Dunn.  

gestural drawings inspired by Stevie (part of "Capturing the Essence" ecourse)

Writer, artist, channel for the stories of each member of her farm, I discover upon each virtual visit breadcrumbs of magic, wonder, love and celebration of both life and death, as well as the gifts of everyday.

Moose sock puppet (left) inspired by project in Creative Illustration Workshop (see below link)

In the past few years I have leaned heavily upon Katherine's instruction in art (her wonderful book Creative Illustration Workshop for Mixed-Media Artists and her online course Capturing the Essence) as well as her blogpost chronicling life on her where she nurtures and shares the stories of the goats, pigs, cats, geese and donkeys that she rescues.  Theirs are stories of survival, of the endurance of love despite pain, illness and death, and the immense courage and gift of standing clear-eyed in the midst of life's hardest lessons. 

Many of my own favorite pieces have been inspired by Apifera and the art of Katherine Dunn.

 



I want to thank Katherine and Apifera for all the intangible treasures of art and love I zealously gather up and hoard for emotional lean times. I think the very best way to express my gratitude would be to pay forward the gift of inspiration by offering Katherine's latest book Misfits of Love: Healing Conversations in the Barnyard as a special New Year giveaway prize to one of you, my dear readers, who support and sustain me so generously and lovingly. (If you visit the book's link, you can hear a book reading by the author as well as view selected page spreads.) 


 

sample page spread from Misfits of Love, used with permission from author

I feel particularly proud of this book because in a sense, it was a collaborative effort.  Not only between the author and the animals whose stories she shares, but with her audience who supported her quest to bring this book to life, eventually through self publishing and fund raisers. 
 

I am fortunate enough to say I had a small part in supporting this project.  It gives me hope to see others supporting art, voting with dollars to sustain a lifestyle devoted to loving care, creative expression and the power of stories to inspire and ignite imagination and acts of compassion and kindness.

And Play.  My favorite aspect of Katherine's work is the strong element of playfulness and invention that takes me back to the imagination I knew as a child.  Imagination that knows no limits.  Imagination that sees possibilities overlooked by tired, adult minds. 

But also there is the child's ability to hold both the hard truths within a deeper understanding of the magic and healing such lessons bring.

 "He [Giacomo, the donkey] died with my arms around him feeling kindness. His grave is now a place of comfort for visitors, as well as for me.

I truly believe Giacomo knew he was in a safe place where he was ready to rest. And I believe he was meant to rest here. He showed me you can trust even after you've been hurt.  I will never forget this creature, and he often comes to me in paintings."

(excerpt from Misfits of Love, used with permission from the author) 

I have one autographed copy of Misfits of Love that I will be giving away as my token of gratitude and as an act of sending light and warmth into our Winter world.  I will select a name at random (perhaps Sock Moose will draw the name out of a hat?) next Sunday, January 12.  To enter your name into the drawing simply leave a comment here, telling me who is your favorite denizen of Apifera farm.  If you are unfamiliar with Katherine's blog, then lucky you!  Follow the link and scroll through past blog posts to discover the many colorful and beautiful characters that call Apifera home.  I don't know if I could single out a favorite, but certainly Aunt Bea is a goat who stole my heart along with a more recent member of the barnyard, Moose. (of course, right?) And I am a sucker for the back end of a very photogenic Pig named Rosie. 

Comments will close on Sunday night and I will announce the winner on Monday.  Be sure I have a way to contact you. (If you have problems commenting, you can email me at: Lishofmann(at)novia(dot)net.)  Share this post on Facebook (let me know!) and your name will be entered twice.  

And bonus prize: if you are the lucky winner and choose to continue to pay it forward by making a contribution to Apifera  I will make for you a personalized, embroidered bookmark to accompany your prize  (Please note: Apifera is not a 501c registered nonprofit organization. But donations are welcomed: "While you can rest assured that each animal will be cared for, fed and vetted as necessary out of our own funds, we are happy when kind people want to slip us a little money to help defray the costs to maintain the barn animals we take on for life." - Katherine Dunn)

Good luck! And help spread the magic! 

xo

it's really bad when ...

... I dissolve into tears before the Walgreen's pharmacy clerk.

Actually, I knew things were headed down a dark road when I found myself eating cold cereal for supper a few nights back. And really REALLY OFF when The Husband declared his intention to have cold cereal the same night (unaware of my Dickensian dinner) and I told him he couldn't because there wasn't enough milk for breakfast.

I lived on cold cereal as a kid. I probably ate more cereal than any other food item as I was a picky eater and my mother didn't have the fortitude to challenge me. Water goes around the rock and milk flowed liberally into a bowl of Frosted Flakes or Cocoa Puffs.

Given my overindulgence in the flake food group, I rarely eat cereal as an adult. To decide upon cereal as a viable option for my evening meal is a sign of total decline in spirit, imagination, energy and self worth. My father often ate cold cereal for supper. He would state his intentions with the subtext being "no one really cares enough to cook me a dinner so I must settle for this." Sitting at the kitchen island eating Wheaties in the fading light, I was aware things were spiraling downwards.

I don't know if I have a sinus infection or a dental problem, but I have had a low, dull headache and irritation in the upper part of my mouth for the better part of a week. My tendency is to ignore discomfort and hope it wanders away. But today I accepted defeat and went to see the doctor. Of course, she couldn't see if there is anything wrong with my sinuses so I am to take an antibiotic and if afterwards I still feel bad, then I need to see the dentist.

By now, all I can think about is my head - or more exactly the left side of my head which is feeling progressively number and achier with each passing minute. (Did I mention that while I avoid going to the doctor, I do not avoid worrying about the multitude things that could be wrong with me ... much like I worry about my car whenever a new noise becomes apparent.) I wanted relief and eagerly arrived at Walgreen's for the possibility of relief that is my prescription.

Of course, the clerk informed me there was nothing in the system for me. He proceeded to tell me I hadn't received anything from that location in over a year and a half - basically implying I was woefully misguided, as if I were Miss Havisham arriving to collect her wedding invitations. I told him indeed that was the last time I needed a prescription filled. He then searched the general database and no, nothing for me anywhere.

At this point hot and bothered - bundled in woolens, down jacket and purse bearing down upon shoulders weakened by holiday fatigue and woe - I started to crumble. "Can you call my doctor's office?" Of course I didn't have the phone number in my cell phone. I could barely remember the name of the location and for a moment I couldn't even remember the doctor's name.

I mean, it had been over a year and a half, right?

That is when the tears started to roll ...

He gave me the number and I tried calling only to be told the doctor was now at lunch and I would have to wait until she got back in to straighten things out. Clutching my cellphone with snot (hopefully infected) dribbling out my nose, I waddled out of Walgreen's and now am home waiting for a call back.

And that is my holiday wish: that my sinuses that are the cause of my general malaise and discontent and not a decaying tooth which would have to wait until Monday to be seen by my dentist. Oh, and that the doctor will call back sometime today? I mean, when I finally decide I need to see a doctor then know I damn well want my drugs - NOW! (I've been waiting now for over 2 1/2 hours ... still no call.)






All of which is to say ... I am proceeding one step at a time. Head down, just inch forward - pause - repeat. Oh, and it's been snowing here which is really lovely but adding to my headache and fatigue as I gingerly make my way about on icy sidewalks to walk the dog and then crawl into my car and clutching the steering wheel creep about on slushy streets.

Thank god for online holiday shopping.

Two books I meant to mention in my review of inspiring titles are children's books but I love the message that they share about creativity and making art. They both are by Peter Reynolds and the first one is called The Dot and the second one is Ish. Cowgirl and I love both books and find they inspire us equally.








Yes, there have been pockets of inspiration ... as a reminder of better days ... some play from last weekend - my barnyard is filling up while Cowgirl is working on holiday themed pieces for school.

a very BIG pink pig

cowgirl's holiday tree with presents ... a project for her Chinese class

for some reason, in Moose's fantasy life he is French!

For a healthy dose of real inspiration, I encourage you to check out the beautiful series "The Love Gift" being offered over on Studio Margot. (I have contributed a piece that will be up sometime this month.) It is like an advent calendar of love and joy!






I may be down ... but I'm not out (just not having as much fun as my girl ... but holding out hope for the drugs ...)