Wednesday, February 9, 2011

random acts of self-kindness

I've been feeling so heavy lately ... do you notice it? I mean heavy in the sense of my brow furrowed, deep into thought, seeing signs in the tortilla chips (not the Virgin Mary, mind you, just a blob looking like the snake-eating-an-elephant from The Little Prince.) I know, you are saying "Of course you feel heavy Lis, you are deep into labor and birthing your creative self."

Okay. Yeah. A little heavy with myself.

I was running errands after work (I loathe - in the way one loathes liver or Wham! - going on errands) and I passed by this sandwich and the thought bubbled up "you deserve a decent lunch." I get home late for lunch and usually end up scavenging for left-overs, snatching a meal where I can before dashing out the door to pick up Cowgirl. And I am notorious cheap when it comes to eating out - especially lunch which seems pricey for what you get. But I turned on my heel and went into the pseudo-green-healthy sandwich shoppe and ordered myself a veggie wrap to go.

Let me tell you, it tasted damn good! I am in the midst of a guerrilla attack by a cold virus (periods when I feel fine, then a condensed period of misery, followed by well and then a new way of symptoms attack) so I don't think it would take much to impress my taste buds, but it just felt like the healthy energy of the sprouts, avocado, greens and other minced bits went straight down to my toes and shot up to the tips of my hair. An injection of prana, pure prana.

I am so happy from this random act of self kindness that I realize I need to make this a regular practice. I am thick into The Artist's Way (although honestly, the minute I put the book down, I forget everything I read!) and besides Morning Pages (which I am doing and finding really helpful for dumping all my mental trash on a regular basis) the other key practice is called The Artist Date. It is meant to be a weekly event when you explore something that interests you or something that feeds your creativity. It is a play date with yourself. It is meant to be solo and meant to be scheduled.

So far, my two Artist Dates have been unscheduled, totally spontaneous adventures out into the snow with Cowgirl. So I've broken every rule! But if the function of the Artist Date is to refill my well of creativity, than what better mentor into creative, joyful play than a child?

I am not needing more structure, another item on my "to do" list; what I am needing is spontaneous action guided by intuition. I am working with Hawk Medicine which is all about cultivating connection to a higher wisdom and trusting the answers that come from within.

And I'm needing to lighten things up.

I am making a commitment to myself to honor the Artist Date but consider more as a act of random self-kindness. Staying alert and attentive for those moments when Hawk is guiding me to step out of my routine and nourish my spirit through play. Or, to use a word I've rediscovered, to regularly skive off from my grown-up schedule to tend to the whims of my inner child.

Today we worked on Valentine items (Cowgirl's box for school and some cards) and picked out fabric to use for making our own medicine pouches. We already have shells and feathers picked out and a trip to look for some crystals planned for Saturday.

I challenge you: practice a random act of self-kindness some time today. How does it make you feel?

Yeah ... I can see you smiling from here ... is that chocolate on your face as well?

(I apologize to any Wham! lovers ... in grad school I lived above a man named Martin who had the obnoxious habit of putting Jitter Bug on whenever he worked out ... usually late at night or early on a Saturday morning. Needless-to-say, I have a pavlovian response to any Wham! song.)


  1. i have a TO DO list filled to the brim for tomorrow, but i SWEAR i'll make time for a random act of kindness...

    today i am grateful for being able go to google with the words cowgirl and dandelion in order to reconnect with you.

    p.s. hi lis!

  2. I am always astounded by synchronicity. I am working with eagle medicine and yet was slipped a message from hawk. I'd love to hear more about this from you. Wonderful description of how the sandwich zinged through you. I started The Artist's Way when my son was very, very young and found I couldn't keep up, maybe it's time to re-visit that project. I know I need some self-love, self-kindness, funny how we will put every one before ourselves most of the time. Thanks for the reminder!

  3. Such a great post...enjoy your self kindness....I have completely enjoyed reading your post.

  4. i have been contemplating how i need to begin a self-care routine and this post is perfect inspiration. thanks!

  5. ah, dear you have touched my heart THREE times today...with your words on my blog(s), your words here and a little something marvelous in my (real) mailbox.


    just when i needed all of it.

    deepest of gratitude and a whole whack o' love for you...


  6. I love how your posts always send me the reminders that I need at that moment in time:) Glad you were kind to yourself, you deserve mountains of kindness xxx

  7. I love my artist dates. They are often spontaneous but for me they have to be alone and with intention. I need to remind myself to slow down and really enjoy and experience what I am doing.

  8. i worked thru the artist way and loved it. got a lot out of it. i remember struggling to actually do the artist dates to, but on the occasion that i did, it was very meaningful. i guess it reminds us, that we, the artist in us, deserve special one-on-one attention! enjoy all that-
    i have recently slacked a little, but 5 years later, i still keep up with the morning pages!

  9. i know that heaviness.

    i have come out of the other side of the solstice clearer, lighter. i did a lot of work last year as a foundation... simplifying, mentally decluttering, now i'm in thenext stage. still lots of work, but lighter.

    continue your self-kindness.

  10. When you have those heavy moments when you feel as though you cannot love YOU .... remember you are very, very loved the Universe and by ME and just take a, like this delectable sandwich will make itself known...loving you always