Friday, March 19, 2010
You are all my Blue Lady ...
[T]here is always a way to be truly free. And that is by expressing the essence of you, and being true to your own heart and talents and powers. Stay strong, stay true, and do not waver. Call on the Blue Lady, and she will gently guide you ... finding others who can mentor you through the "impossibles" will also be of great assistance ... take time to clarify your own conditioning, and make a renewed commitment to come from your talent and your gifts and your truth each and every day. Small, powerful moments of courage create a life fully lived. (from Lucy Cavendish, Oracle of the Dragonfae)
A ritual I have been able to maintain for awhile now is to get up early before I have to walk the dog and make my way down the hall to my yoga room. I light a candle on my altar, wrap myself in my iris blue meditation shawl, and sit down on my buckwheat zafu, scrunching and adjusting it until it feels "just right." I begin my day with a centering practice: a little reiki meditation, just breathing and checking in with myself. On the days I do not take time for this practice, I tend to feel rough around the edges, more likely to react negatively and impulsively and less organized in my thinking. Even though I know these benefits, it is still a struggle to resist the lure of my pillow, the temptation of the snooze button.
After my meditation, I take some time to draw a couple of oracle cards, reading in the booklets that come with each respective deck, and then allowing a few minutes for the messages to sink in. Often on my predawn walk with Moose, I ponder the teachings offered in each card. Some are pretty dead on - "um, yeah, I know ...still working on it!" while others are just plain perplexing. Messages about time, strength, new beginnings have been the main themes these past months. And today I drew the other card that has frequently appeared in my life lately: Abundance.
Of course, the cards all speak of abundance not being limited to material wealth, but prosperity in terms of friendships, time, ideas, and opportunities. Today when I sat down for a little catch up time online, I was reminded of this new wealth in my life. What has materialized in my life in ways I never would have imagined is an abundance of support and encouragement for this life of creative exploration.
In spiritual practice and in creative work, there is a natural element of isolation and loneliness. These paths force me to return again and again to my center, digging deeper through layers of accumulated ideas and beliefs, shifting through and weighing the truthfulness of each attitude and deciding what to cultivate and what to cut loose. I can read books, go to lectures, ask questions, compare my experience to another's but ultimately I have my experience and you will have yours. They may have similarities but they will certainly have differences. It is those differences that I tend to obsess over and which open up space for doubt.
But what I have discovered since blogging is a generosity on the part of other writers, readers and creators to affirm my path. It's funny, my word for the year is Fearless but Connection seems to be the theme I've been experiencing. Yet for me to reach out to others, to present my ideas and my work - okay, my Self! - is an act of immense fearlessness. I excitedly post an image or a poem and then I always, ALWAYS cringe on the inside and worrying I am being self indulgent, childishly naive and full of myself to assume anyone would care.
And ultimately, even if no one else did care, I still would. I think what everyone is so excited by and eager to support in this rather large/little blogville we socialize in, is the expression of individuals embracing their lives and interpreting their worlds. It is not so much the What that is being created (although it all is magnificent) but the fact that we feel emboldened to create in the first place. This is what I find so exhilarating and intoxicating. Witnessing someone trying spin magic and meaning out of their day, that is worth cheering and supporting. To be led to a point where I believe I can also jump on this crazy creativity bicycle and actually ride it - that is a huge gift and an even larger shift in perspective.
Thank you all for showing me nothing is impossible when I follow my heart. And most of all, thank you Cowgirl who is my original Blue Lady (this was the first card you drew, and how appropriate for you a lover of blue!) The lessons of this card remind me to take care when listening to your dreams and to be mindful when fear may prompt me to try and protect or re-direct you. My role is to support you in dreaming big and to provide the tools to help you discover your strengths and talents and the courage to move towards those dreams.
Acknowledging abundance (Aparigraha), we recognize the blessing in everything and gain insights into the purpose for our worldly existence. Yoga Sutra 2:39 (translation by Nischala Joy Devi)
Our worldly purpose? I would say, to shine forth our brilliance and our love. But that's just my perspective.