Saturday, October 8, 2011

re-entry is challenging ...

This entire week I have been wandering through my days in a total fog. Actually, I feel a bit stoned with the accompanying munchies - so I guess my body is calling for some intense grounding through food, sleep and inactivity.

Well, on the surface I things seem stilled.
I tried to dip my toes back into creative waters and this is what my mind looks like these days:

actually, a wide angle lens is needed to capture the scope of my chaos

It seems an internal earth mover has been churning up my consciousness. Rocking my mind these past few weeks are the words and ideas of John O'Donohue. (Thank you Liz and Mel!) Before traveling to Sedona, I downloaded 3 of his talks recorded during the Greenbelt Festival and when I wasn't painting, I plugged into my i-pod and entranced by the poetic expression of his hugely vast and captivating mind. Seriously, the best $10 you will ever spend are these talks. (Just go to the iTunes store, type in his name and look under the audio books.)

In his talk "Imagination as as the Path to Spirit" he counsels that if you want to change your life, you first must change your thoughts. He goes onto suggest this exercise: take a piece of paper and write on the top of it "The 7 thoughts that shape, guide and determine my life." It may take months to figure out what those thoughts are, but if you really want to know yourself, then you need to determine what are these major thoughts/themes that govern how you interface with your world. After figuring out your list then he suggests that you consider how you have been married to these thoughts your entire life and what are the thoughts you haven't even flirted with or considered?


Another exercise he offers is to make your journal writing something more vital and deep and he suggests taking a new journal and titling it something juicy like "The Journal of My Most Dangerous Thoughts."

Double wow.

One of my 7 thoughts is this: I am not ready yet. Whatever it is that I am in deep love or conversation with, I am not ready to take it further. Usually this revolves around me taking whatever I am passionate about and sharing it with others. I'm not ready to teach, talk, instruct or share with others. I lack the words, the expertise, the experience to do so.

Dangerous thought for the day: What if I am ready now? What if holding back is no longer an option?

Coming down from the high of a weekend of Fearless painting and dancing in community with like-minded sisters/souls I found myself thinking this dangerous thought: It CAN be this way all of the time. I can choose to engage with life from such a deep, passionate, heart expanding perspective all of the time.

How about this: It must be this way all of the time.

Today Cowgirl was coloring with some new markers and she was excited to show me a new magical marker. There are regular markers but this one pen transforms their colors into new ones.

Consider the possibilities of that - a magical marker for our experience! We can transform our lives by sweeping over our days a new perspective, new attitude, new thoughts. Dangerous thoughts that flip the mundane into the magical, that turn lack into opportunity, that uncover the possibilities available to us in each moment.

And think about this: can we afford to not think these kinds of thoughts on a daily basis? Why would we choose to do otherwise?

I am scaring myself these days. But then I remember the title of an amazing autobiography which I would love to lay claim to: "I Shock Myself."

What dangerous or shocking thoughts dance through your imagination? It's time to give them room to move.


  1. ah, but i've been thinking about this since i read your email.

    i'm still percolating but it seems my thoughts are extraordinarily dangerous.

    i'm utterly terrified.

    but i'm listening.

    love, love, LOVE to you....xoxoxoxo

  2. oh Lis. you magic weaver of words!
    those 7 things... will be pondering and recording.
    Most Dangerous Thoughts... yep, it's time.
    Mel! Right there with you!
    Joy Warriors Unite! (we need a t-shirt and a magic code ring)

  3. You are one of the most "dangerous" women I know - and I LOVE you for it!!

  4. Wow these beautiful inspiring words have made me feel so much.
    Thank you Lis.

  5. I found myself fighting back tears while I read this. I am paying attention to this response. I am clinging to fear at the same time as finally realizing I am ready to let it go. Downloading some John O'Donohue as I type this. Thanks for sharing your journey.

  6. So much here today,dear woman!!The 7 thoughts exercise seems like such a powerful dot connector.I am a tiny bit afraid to make that list.Though I think I have a pretty good idea about what will show up on it.
    Those dangerous thoughts need to be called out of hiding-
    Wild blessings-

  7. Beautiful writing Lis! I love the magical marker! What a metaphor for what is possible in our lives!! Purchased the Greenbelt festival talks and can't wait to listen. I will be diving in on my break time here at the hospital. Thank you so much for the truthfulness in "Dangerous thought for the day: What if I am ready now? What if holding back is no longer an option?" I have been pondering this for myself since I read your blog. Last night my partner and I went to see "The Way" (highly recommend) about the journey of the Santiago de Compostella. The transformation of the last 2 weeks has convinced me there is sooooo much more to open up to, and I am just starting a new journey! I am now asking myself the same dangerous question! Thank you for your insight!!! big hugs!

  8. Dangerous tempt me to come further out of my comfort zone...a zone I've been FAR outside of since we last parted. The questions are stellar AND I will be downloading to dangerous question right now - what if my "crazy" ideas aren't so crazy and impossible! What?? Said in a Charlie voice ..right now you are so fierce, so open to possibility it's wickedly inspiring..and I SOOO want those markers oh yes I do xoxoxox

  9. If I change how I think, where would my thoughts take me? What wonderful new and exciting journey could be mine? I am going to think abou these two questions and see what magic happens in my life.

  10. Re-reading this again. I'm going to work on my list of 7. Part of my coaching practice is getting people to dismantle beliefs that just are not Truth. I'll send this link around! You articulated something very powerful here. People need to read!
    love to you. and I'm still wishing we could sit down and have a group discussion over this!! I think we'd set the room on fire:)

  11. Dangerous Lis may just be my favorite Lis yet ;) I'm so glad you had an amazing experience in Sedona. Seeing all the pictures, the energy, I think the perfect souls connected at that retreat. You ARE ready for that magical marker! Thanks for being an inspiration! What do you say to a phone chat soon? Missing you <3

    ~Brandi Marie

  12. What a juicy post! Thank you so much for some major inspiration! And yes, I think you are ready :)