Nourishing a Hope: Painting with a Purpose

I wasn't planning to participate in Wishcasting Wednesday today because I have this little chicklet of an project that emerged yesterday in my consciousness and I have been consumed with creating the perfect nest for her to thrive and grow. But when I read today's prompt, I knewn she needs to be introduced to you all now.

What do I wish to nourish?

I wish to nourish this dream:

I am calling this project: Painting with a Purpose: A Summer of Creative Connection. Through this project, I want to nourish Hope for children who may have little to hope or believe in. I wish to nourish connection through painting: connection with my daughter but more importantly, connection with the children who live in Welfare Centers (orphanages) in China. I wish to nourish the message of Half the Sky Foundation's Art in Our HeARTS art a-thon and raise money through my art to sponsor a child in the "Somebody Loves Me" program.

This is a project near and dear to my heart. For the first 23 months of Cowgirl's life she lived in a Social Welfare Center in southern China. I know she received good care there because she came to us not only very healthy, but able to express affection, curiosity and most importantly, trust. She attached to us quickly. Parenting an adopted child, the issue of attachment and bonding is the number one concern. The ability to form intimate, loving and engaged relationships is created through our having been attached to our parents or a primary caregiver in the first years of our lives. Sadly, many centers lack the resources and staff to provide the intensive individual care necessary for healthy attachment.

All the children who are held and loved will know how to love others ... Spread these virtues in the world. Nothing more is needed. (Meng Zi, c. 300 B.C.)

The mission of Half the Sky Foundation is to provide individual care and stimulation for children living in welfare centers. Their stated goal is "to ensure every one of China's orphans has a caring adult in her life." I have supported this stellar organization ever since Cowgirl came into my life. When they announced their summer Art a-Thon project, I knew we had to participate.

Here's the plan: Starting now and until the end of July, Cowgirl and I will be collaborating on small scale paintings (5 x 7 and 8 x 10 inches I am thinking) on canvas board. Each week we will create at least one new painting with a theme selected by Cowgirl (oh, this could get interesting!) Beginning in July and running for 4 weeks we will be offering a give away of the paintings. On Fridays I will be posting an update of our progress and a chance to win one of our collaborative pieces. To enter you must make a donation to Half the Sky (more info on this below) and leave a comment each of the 4 Fridays (be sure to let me know you donated!) We will select a name at random on each of the following Monday mornings.

Things will get rolling on Friday, July 2 with the final week being Friday, July 23. Depending upon the response, I may add a bonus week on Friday July 30, so stay tuned! I image we will have more than enough art to share, so who knows what bonus offerings may bubble up in July?

You only have to donate once, but in order to qualify each week for the drawing, you must leave a comment and include in your comment that you made a donation.

To visit my pledge page and make a donation now simply click here. Or use this badge over on my sidebar:

I want to nourish the belief in myself and my daughter that what we do does matter; that we each can make a difference in our own, unique way. I want to nourish the conviction that Art can save lives and that art is a vehicle for hope, understanding and connection.

As I wish, so may it be!

(Please help me spread the word! Any suggestions, support, tweets, or shout outs as things get rolling will be greatly appreciated (and humbly accepted.) And if you are unable to comment, please feel free to email me: Lishofmann(at)novia(dot)net)

Leapin' Lizards!

I almost skipped today's Wishcasting as I thought I pretty much covered the subject of leaping here. But as I walked Moose in the golden glow of early morning, new forms of leaping tumbled through my brain.

How to answer: What leap do I wish to take?

I wish to leap into my dreams

To leap into flight

Into my truth

Into my calling &

My passion

I wish to leap over

my fears

notions of lack

rocks of self judgment

the mud puddle of comparison

the quagmire of inertia

But really, when all is said and done, I wish to leap into contentment for all that is available to me right now, as I am, as life presents itself to me.

Santosha or contentment is one of the foundational principles in the Yoga Sutras. To understand contentment, the opposite state or discontentment is often considered. Attachment and desire drive discontentment. Feeling a lack, believing what is out there will make me happy/better/more fulfilled only deepens my sense of discontent. To be free from grasping, desire, a sense of incompleteness is to experience Santosha and a happiness that cannot be effected by outside conditions.

Santosha, or the practice of content-ment, is the ability to feel satisfied within the container of one's immediate experience. (Donna Farhi)

When at peace and content with oneself and others (Santosha), supreme joy is celebrated. (Nischala Joy Devi)

Supreme joy ... yeah, I wish to leap into that.

(you could say I also leapt into a new challenge - Thank you Lisa! - of 21 days of yoga practice and writing. I am ready to commit ... or be committed!)

Wishcasting: My Space

What do I wish for my space?

Lovely prompt Jamie!

I wish for my space to be a place where love, creativity and understanding thrive.

I wish for my space to be an invitation to all who enter to relax, reflect, feel safe and able to ask their questions, speak their truth, seek and offer support and guidance.

I wish for my space to encourage all to believe in themselves, trusting that we each carry what is needed to uncover the answers.

I wish for my space to be a place of comfort, refreshing and renewing everyone's energy, spirit and soul.

I wish to carry this space within me. And I wish for all to know their own spaces of beauty and power that rest within.

Shhh ... listen ... look ... right there ... in the pause between each breath ... in the space between beat each thump of your heart ... now can you feel it?

Open Skies (Wishcasting)

Wishcasting Wednesday is here and today the question is:

What do I wish to experience?

What came to mind was a relaxation/visualization that I often use at the end of the yoga classes I teach. If you've never practiced yoga - and possibly even those of you who have taken classes for years - then it might be surprising to hear that the entire class - the postures, the breathing practices, the sweat and the stretch - is all preparation for the final relaxation or Savasana that comes at the end. Indeed the corpse pose as Savasana is translated is considered by one of the great masters and teachers of yoga, B.K.S. Iyengar to be The Most Difficult of all the poses. It requires one to be completely still, balanced and present. My teacher says it mentors us in the experience of dying to the past and the future while abiding fully in the now moment.

When I guide students into this practice I like to use visualization to help the mind get past some of its busyness while the body relaxes. One of my favorite prompts is to visualize the wide open sky. And in considering what it is I wish to experience, it is that sensation of feeling myself wide open and spacious like the sky.





I wish to experience myself as the sky: vast, boundless, unlimited potential, limitless possibilities.

I wish to experience myself like the sky embracing everything and holding nothing.

I wish to experience myself like the sky completely filled and completely empty.

I wish to experience myself like the sky always present, always changing.

I wish to experience my life like the sky: clouds, storms, rain, wind, sun, heat, humidity moving through me but ultimately never defining or describing me.

When I have had a deep Savasana experience, there is this moment where I am waking up and briefly I do not know who I am. Rather than being frightening, this moment is liberating. For in that moment, I am free of any burdens of who I am, who I believe myself to be and of the weight the circumstances of my life may place upon my shoulders.

Or rather, I am free of the weightiness that is being a finite me. This is what I wish to experience: my infinite Self.

(For an thoughtful article on the lessons Savasana offers us, I just found this article.)

Full disclosure: A very close second to my wish would be: I wish to experience Ewan McGregor ... well, use your imagination ...




... a spin on relaxation pose?

For more wishes (of the G-rated variety I'm sure) check here.

Multitasking: Wishes and Dreams ❀

I keep coming back to the lesson of learning to live in Time rather than fighting against it. No, really, I draw this oracle card on a regular basis! One of the things I have wanted to be more connected to was a sense of natural time: the cycle of the moon, the day, the seasons. So this month I decided to take part in Jamie Ridler's Full Moon Dream Boards. I loved giving myself the two weeks from the new moon to the full moon in order to ponder Jamie's prompt - The Pink Moon and what seeds do I want to plant? What do I want to blossom in my life right now?

Last night I drove home under the almost full moon. I was aware from these days of gathering the images and words for my board of the immense need for me to simplify, slow down and focus. The beauty of the moon reminded me of the power and grace inherent in stillness. This is what I have been craving: to be Still and aware. Awake, Present and Centered. A lot is going on within me and I need time and space to process it all. I want to let the juicy goodness soak in, appreciating the gifts and celebrating the singular beauty of each blossom as it arises in my life. I don't want to rush anything. I want to feel my connection to the natural cycles of life and from that connection let flow my creativity. Flow and grow, that is what I want for myself in this phase of my life.

My Dream Board seems to flow nicely into this week's Wishcasting. I wish to invest in these seeds: Stillness so I can hear the call of my heart; Simplicity so I can see what is around and within me; and Play so I can joyfully express the luminous beauty of this life.

Double Dog Dare (Wishcasting Wednesday)

Remember that? To be double dogged dared ... to be pushed to the edge and taunted "come on, don't be a scared-dee cat" and either caving into peer pressure or slinking away, the label of Afraid pinned to your back.

There is so much positive, encouraging energy out here and I've found myself jumping in to waters I would never have imagined myself capable of swimming. I have received wonderfully gentle, encouraging nudges to share my vision, speak my words and I have responded to fear and uncertainty by daring myself many times.

So here's the thing: it is exciting to join in, to move outside of the comfort zone and expand my horizons. I am participating in Marisa Haedike and Sean Hogan's ecourse Be It Live It Do It (April in Paris) and I am struck by the fact that I am not sure what my "it" is? Well, my dreams of course. And everyone is talking about living their dreams, birthing their dreams, giving wings to them and I am definitely waving my pom poms and enthusiastically cheering everyone on.

And I know dreams come in various sizes and forms according to the dreamer and certainly I am the only judge of what is a dream for me. But I am wondering about all this calling into action? Yeah, I signed up and climbed aboard and am very excited to dig around and unearth whatever is germinating deep within me. But I am wondering - daring to consider in fact - that maybe I already have "it" and in fact am living "it" and I just need to recognize and appreciate this fact? Am I so busy looking up at the sky, squinting to see my dreams on the horizon that I am missing the fact they are laying comfortably by my feet, waiting to be acknowledged?

I dare to say I don't know.

I am uncertain.

I can change my mind.

I may want some time.

I wish to dare to consider the pieces of my life -

the messiness, the uncertainty, the eruptions and interruptions, false starts, dead ends, lost bits and scattered ideas -

are part of a larger form I may not be ready to take in.

or understand.

I wish to dare to consider

I may already be living my dream

and I wish to dare to believe

doing so

living "it"

it is much simpler

than my mind makes it out to be.

So many wonderful dares to read about over here.

Care of a tender heart

Today's Wishcasting asks: What do I wish to be gentle with?

The overwhelming consensus amongst my fellow wishcasters seems to be: myself. And after reading so many responses that echo what I am feeling and struggling with, I pretty much felt everyone else had said all that I might want to say on the subject. It has been a challenging week with the Husband out of town and me, the sole adult in the house. I have been tripping over my expectations of what I can do in a single day while wearing many hats: mommy, cook, dog handler, driver, domestic diva/slave to name a few. Factor in allergy season and hormones and voilá - a cocktail for emotional fireworks, for sure.

So thinking about being gentle, I know I have to start with myself. But in all honesty, the incentive for cleaning up my act is Cowgirl. And while looking at this photograph, my answer to this week's question emerged.

Caught in a rut

of busyness

i loose sight of

the many gifts

proffered

by small hands

my head in a fog

cloud

of ridiculous

expectations

i absentmindedly

observe

"she holds my heart

in her hands"

sharp

is the realization

she is holding out to me

her heart

an offering

made daily

with

purest intention

hope

and

unquestioning

trust

tiny and tender

this immense

gift

and responsibility

is one i pray

i never again

take for granted

or overlook

my wish

for her -

which really is a wish

for myself -

is to recommit

to the practice

of being

mindful

knowing

my words, my actions, my thoughts

rain down upon

both our hearts

not just right speech,

but words

born from

gentleness and love

To read the other responses I wish I had written, visit here. And remember to go gently through your day. ♥

Wishcasting: BLOOM ❀

On this cold, windy, un-Springlike day I am answering this week's Wishcasting prompt by standing up and loudly proclaiming:

I wish to Bloom where I am
As I am
In this moment
with laundry piling up
groceries to put away
house in total disarray

I wish to Bloom in this moment
even as a slightly frazzled
scatter-minded
errand weary
limp little plant

I wish to Bloom
in this Moment
embracing all of who I am
no more excuses
no more holding back
out of fear
or uncertainty
or lack of incentive

No longer putting things off
until some magical
better moment
and no more apologies
for any of my buds
blemished
imperfect
unopened


I wish to Blossom
through the cracks of my life
knowing each flower
expresses a moment to be
cherished
understood
valued
for its contribution to my garden

I wish to Blossom
and then pause
long enough
to savor
sunlight
upon my skin
roots
embracing soil
soft breezes
and the moment
that is always
simply
Now.




To read how others wish to bloom, visit here.

How is your garden today? Do share your bouquets ... wildflowers always welcome!

Wishcasting: To Read!

You know, I'm still trying to take that much needed break from productivity, so when today's Wishcasting asked What do you wish to accomplish? I have to confess, I am setting my sights low. I am feeling in a bit of a muddle about where it is I am heading and what it is I want to focus my energy upon. Frankly, I am having too much fun just dabbling, exploring, playing and soaking in sunshine.

Yes, Sunshine!

But what has been nagging at me is the pile of books sitting unread by my nightstand. I am close to the end of Women Who Run with the Wolves, have started the sequel to Chocolat and The Last Station just came in from the library and I have more books received as holiday gifts and ordered on sale from Amazon awaiting my affections.

I have always devoured books. One summer when I was a preteen I would walk every other day to the public library and check out an Agatha Christie murder mystery. I would spent that day and the next curled up with the book, a glass of super sugary lemon iced tea and read until my head spun. When the last page was read, I walked back to the library, returned the book and begin the cycle again.

Lately, it seems my reading habit has been stalled. I manage to cover a few pages before my eye lids drop but that is it. When I find myself with a chunk of time, I been busy crafting, cooking, cleaning or playing with Cowgirl. I realized today that I have been suffering under the delusion that time spent reading is unproductive time. I do not believe this, but I have been acting that way. Reading is a way of filling myself up; gathering new perspectives, new insights, and inspiration. Reading affords me the chance to live in a different world, ponder how my life might be in other circumstances and to try on new attitudes, fresh ideas. To take time out to read is to take time to water my emotional and intellectual gardens. It is a necessary balance to action for it allows me time to reflect and digest my thoughts and my feelings.

So I what I wish to accomplish is to read those all those books that have been calling out to me. They've been patiently waiting for my attention. I wish to visit their worlds and come back to mine refreshed and perhaps armed with some new attitudes, my viewpoint enhanced from exploring other experiences.

Now, if I only had a hammock ...


And no real reason for the Moose shot except perhaps as added inspiration to sit still ... I can hold a book in one hand and easily scratch some spaniel ears with the other ...

On Break

Today's Wishcasting is a trick question in my opinion. What do you wish to take a break from?

I had to sit with this one for a bit. My initial responses - comparison, self criticism, negativity, worry - well, these are things I want to abolish from my world, not simply take a break from them. To take a break implies I will be returning to whatever it is I am abandoning for the time being. See? Trick question!

With that in mind, what I wish to take a break from is Seriousness. There is an appropriate time to focus one's attention, roll up the sleeves and get working and there is a time to relax, be silly, be ... dare I say it? ... unproductive. By nature I am a pretty disciplined, focused and intellectually weighed individual. All of which is a way of saying I think and do too much. And maybe it is just that this challenging Winter has necessitated nose down, plowing forward in my life but now it is time for Spring. Time for the poncho twins (see previous post) to head outdoors for some serious - oops, I mean unabashedly gleeful swing and slide and sandbox action.

Time to get lost in an afternoon of painting, dancing, milk and cookies kind of meandering through the day. Nature trails to explore, tea parties to invent, spontaneous dinners out. Oh, yeah, truth be told I want a break from meal planning, grocery shopping and dinner cooking! Actually, I think I am staging a strike on that one.

So maybe I'm wishing for a break from the routine? A break from feeling the need to be busy and productive all of the time. A break from taking it - or rather, Me - all so seriously. I mean, we have fairy houses to make people! We have ice cream to eat and mud pies to bake. And a bike with a new bell and horn to dust off and ride. I think I am wishing to allow myself to steep in the juiciness of my life as it is right now. At this moment, nothing more is needed except for me to relax and just be with it all.

foot painting - i dare you to try it!

I am reminded of a line from Oscar Wilde: Life is far too important a thing to ever talk seriously about.

Yeah, I'm taking a break. It feels good. Even the bee stops for a moment to taste the nectar.

Holding onto the Details

What do I wish to pay attention to? The details, all of the details. Every juicy, sticky, overwhelming, boring, awe inspiring, stomach clenching, heart racing, mind numbing, thrilling and mundane moment that constitutes my life. Love is in the details. Love is paying attention and honoring each moment as part of the larger whole. A few details that make up my love mosaic are:

Peanut butter on the corners of your mouth

Salty tears anointing my lips

Insistent pats waking me from the fog of sleep

Sweat fevered forehead steaming under my cool palm

Warm solid mass of you curled up against my side

Giggles shared under cupped hands

Noisy tippy toes sneaking up to startle me

Paint stained hands offering me a masterpiece

Laughing ghost hiding behind closet doors

Girl-pup scampering around my knees while I cook

Turning kola bear and hanging on, refusing to say goodbye

And then, a solid kiss on the lips before I depart

The heft of you upon my hip

Troll child snarling at my feeble attempts to jolly

Proclaiming me “Sweet Angel”

And you, a chick, I am to hatch

Warm whispered secrets in my ear

Small hands stroking my cheek with praise - “good mommy”

Our names, together, on school artwork,

Beneath two misshaped happy faces holding hands

Bathtub mermaid calling me into the water

Nonsensical knock-knock jokes

Infectious exuberance of accomplishment

Cries I pray I will always be able to soothe

Showing up every day even when I am worn out, despondent, afraid, uncertain, doubtful, empty, overwhelmed …

And loving me, because that’s you

I wish to remember all these moment and to pay attention to the ones about to happen.

Happy Wishcasting Wednesday!

Just say no!

Today's Wishcasting asks: What do you wish to say no to?

My first response was to say no to writing anything today. Something has me feeling the need to stay close to my bed and breaking the rule about no television on school days. Cowgirl is now on her second movie of the afternoon and I am draped over my pillows, sipping Sprite (drinking soda - another No that I have made exception for today) and daydreaming about what I want to do when I have some energy and when I no longer have a headache.

But as the day has worn on, lessons seem to have been plopped in my path and so I am mustering the energy to formalize my new intention. What I wish to say no to is comparisons. Understanding and maintaining healthy boundaries has been the work of my adult life; what I realized today is the one encroaching upon my mental space, whispering doubts and attacking my vulnerable spots is me,myself and I.

It is a trickery dance, checking out what others are writing, thinking, creating, and invoking and wanting to share enthusiasm and support for authentic creative expression while honoring the individuality of my voice. What happens too often is I carry back from my explorations a view of myself as less than and lacking. I lose sight of the fact that this is my journey to knowing and loving myself. To come to understand and believe the Truth that I believe for others: that we all hold all of the answers to our questions and that all that we need is to be found within our own hearts.

So today I wish to say a loud NO to comparing myself with others. To stop comparing my art, my writing, my photographs, my yoga, my teaching style to others because to do so casts a shadow over my light. We each shine in unique and beautiful ways. The garden is richer for the variety of flowers that bloom and even the earthworm and the beetle perform a magic unique and needed.


A beautiful being - who happens to be an inspired and inspiring artist and teacher - wrote this today: Please do not get caught in the trap of comparisons. Remember at all times that this is a practice, and you are always learning. And don't ever forget that there is great, great LOVE here for you.

Thank you for this beautiful gift ... I am committed to taking this love inside. And then locking the doors and saying NO to the negative voices that threaten to take that love away.

Time Bandit

So first, there was this:

(Note: I seem to have inherited all my father's clocks; as a child it drove me nuts as none kept very good time and they all chimed out of sync with each other. Now I am the keeper of these crazy timepieces!)

The Time Guardian (from Oracle of the Dragonfae): You have time -
His Great Lesson is this: if we work with time, rather than trying to compartmentalize, control and define it, if we return to the lunar and solar and astronomical ways ... then the time span we have will be richer and more joyful ...

Yeah, I've drawn this card twice so far this week.

Thinking about time and my relationship with it, I've had this "doodle" page in my head: the ways we refer and relate to time (Time flying, time on my hands, running out of time, chasing time) and yesterday I started this journal page:

i have to find time to work on this!

So of course today's Wishcasting asks: What do you wish to make time for?
I remember my first studio art class in college and the professor talking about how our experience of time will shift when engaged in making art. He discussed a Medieval versus a Modern relationship of being in time and that semester I had a vivid experience of what he was talking about. One day, I spent the afternoon at my relative's house drawing with pen and ink a still life arrangement I had set up in the front living window. Although it was almost - yikes! - 30 years ago, I can recall the immense satisfaction of being completely absorbed in my task. The light was streaming in through the glass and I was fascinated by reflections, shadows, surfaces, the distortion of water in a vase and my attempts to record what I saw on paper. That afternoon, I experienced time suspended: minutes opened up into hours and hours flew by like minutes. When the sun had finally shifted and I put my pen down, I was shocked to discover how much time had gone by. It was a deeply satisfying experience - the total absorption described by meditators - and my closest experience of pure bliss.

yes, i still have this picture! unusual for me is the rather large - 18 by 24 inches - format

I rarely give or have a chunk of time that I do not need to keep track of. There are places to be, meals to be made, family routines to follow. Recently I told my husband I wished I could have one of the mornings I used to enjoy before Cowgirl's arrival: I would get up, make a pot of coffee and then crawl back into bed with my mug and my book. I would spend the morning reading and often would go drowse for a bit before finally getting up in time for lunch. Of course, the husband's response ("when did you do that?") was not what I had hoped for - "Honey, let me give you a morning this weekend; I'll walk the dog and make Cowgirl's breakfast and you can stay in bed."

sigh.

What I wish to make time for is puttering time. Time to just laze and wander about and do what naturally arises without an eye or a mind to the clock. To let myself indulge in something and not feel pulled by the desire or the sense of obligation to be doing something else. Even when I am doing something I love, part of my awareness is drifting towards the next thing I want/ought/can do. What I wish for is a return to Medieval time when life just flows and I am a part of it, not fighting for mastery or control. I know all too well, the more I try to get a handle on time, the more it whups my butt.